Baggage
by JoJo2604
Summary: An unexpected pregnancy leaves Smithy wondering if there is such a thing as too much baggage.
1. Chapter 1

**Another new story and anyone who has read anything of mine before will know it is Smithy/Stevie. I hope you enjoy and if you do then please do leave me a revew. They mean a lot **

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Chapter One

He had just plated his chinese take away, when the door bell rang. He sighed taking a quick bite of his pancake roll before walking through his flat towards the front door. He smiled at the tiny blonde standing the other side, in tight black jeans and a baggy white top, her hair dropping in soft curls against her face, she looked stunning. "Hey Moss.. whats up?" he asked ushering her inside. "Can we talk.." her voice was so quiet, unlike her and he smiled "Corse... go through to the kitchen". He followed her through and he gestured to his food "You hungry?". She shook her head slightly "No.. I am fine..". He nodded "Ok.." he took another bite of his pancake roll and he went to the fridge and pulled a beer out for her "Here" he held it to where she had rested down at the table. She shook her head "I cant Smithy.. Im driving". He smirked "Jesus Christ.. Stevie Moss turning down a free beer... something must be wrong.. whats up?". She sighed "Eat your dinner first.." she smiled "How was work today?" she asked. Smithy rested down oppistie her "You know.. the usual.. but I have managed to wangle a week off next week..". She smiled "You going away?". He laughed "Yeah right... No.. I just need a break from the stress.. and Im sure Stone and Jo can cope without me". She nodded slightly "Yeah.." she paused staring at him "I had an interesting day.." he glanced up from his dinner "Oh yeah.. what you been up to then Moss?". She placed an envelope to the table "I had an ultra sound scan... Im having a baby Smithy". She half laughed as he chocked on his mouthfull of rice. "Easy Smithy" she smiled as she passed him his beer. "I erm... I dont know what to say Moss... I guess congatulations". She nodded "Thank you..." she paused pulling the photo from the envelope "Im twenty six and a half weeks Smithy". His mouth dropped open "Twenty six weeks God Stevie thats what like six months?". She nodded "I am due in January.. I had no idea..". He stared at her "How can you not know?". She sighed "I dont know Smithy.. I am all over the place.. I just didnt get a chance to think about it.. and now I am six and a half months..". He smiled "I just dont get it... have you been drinking?". Stevie nodded "No more than usual..  
but its still not great". He cut in "Who is the Dad?". She shook her head "I cant say". He smiled "Well does he know?". She shook her head "No.. and he doesnt need to... he doesnt live round here anymore". Smithy nodded slightly "So why are you here telling me?" he asked. Stevie felt tears rise in her eyes "I am so frightened Smithy.. nothing scares me but right now I dont see how I can get through tonight". He rose to his feet and she felt his arms encircle her "I will be here for whatever you need Stevie... but you need to get put onto light duties and things... you should go and see Jack". She sighed "I can imagine what people will say..." he interupted "And no one will dare all the while I am around.. I will look after you.." he gestured to her slim belly "Both of you... I cant believe there is a baby in there". She nodded "Tell me about it". He smiled "D'you want a coffee Stevie?" he asked and she shook her head "Its not good for the baby and besides... I better get going" she made her way towards the kitchen door "Thank you.. you are a good friend Smithy". He lent in and placed a kiss to her cheek "Take care Moss... see you tomorrow".

Arriving at work the next day she made her way straight to CID which was unusual for her, normally she would of swung past the canteen for a coffee before even considering showing her face in the office. "Morning" she smiled to Grace who already sat working hard at her computer "Good Morning Serge" she replied in a downcast reply. She rested down at her desk, today was going to be harder than she had ever imagined possible, she had to face telling her bosses that in less than three months she would have a baby and need martenity leave and to top it off she needed to be put on light duties as of this morning and that was before the gossip even began to spread, she would then have to deal with the smart remarks of Max carter and uniform whispering behind her back. She glanced up as the double doors swing open and seeing Smithy standing in the door way she sent him her biggest smile, at least she had someone she could rely on, he gestured to the door to his left and she rose to her feet and followed him inside the large briefing room. He gestured to a chair and smiled "You wanna sit down?" he asked and she shook her head "No.. I am so nervous Smithy..". He moved towards her and pulled her into a hug "You are gunna be fine... The super is out all day so you are gunna have to face Neil.. do you want me to come with you?". She smiled as she pulled from his strong arms "No.. I am already gunna be the talk of the station.. without them putting two and two together and making five Smithy" she smiled gesturing between them. He nodded "You know I will be there for you.. every step of the way.. whatever you and that little one need". She nodded "I know...". He smiled "Do you know what it is?". She nodded "Yes Smithy.. they are ninty percent sure it is gunna be a baby" he faked a laugh "I ment what sex?". She shook her head "No.. I wanted it to be a surprise... God knows the baby was". He nodded and pointed out to where Neil had just entered CID "Time to be brave DS Moss". She nodded "Wish me luck". He placed a gentle kiss to her forehead "You dont need it Moss".

She knocked lightly on the office door and smiled to Smithy as he left CID before turning back to the closed door. "Yes" Neil called and she took a huge breath before stepping inside. "Can I have a quick word please Gov?". He nodded "I have about five minutes.." he glanced up "So make it quick". She stepped inside and closed the door "Its a personal matter Gov..." she paused staring at him "Well spit it out Stevie.." she sighed "I am pregnant" she replied her voice barely above a whispear. He layed his pen onto the desk and glanced to where she stood "Sit down Stevie... how long have you known?". She rested into the chair oppisite her boss and smiled "About a week... I had a scan yesterday... I am twenty six weeks". His mouth dropped open "That far along?" he asked and she nodded "I am sorry I havent been able to give you much notice... I will work right up until I am due.." he smiled "That is not an issuee Stevie... you are in three months going to be a mother.. are you sure this is what you want?". She sighed "I dont have much choice if its not Gov.. but I am sure I can handle it". He nodded "I am a hundred percent sure you can Stevie... you are an independent strong young woman... but this could end your career". She nodded "I am fully aware of the consequences this could have on my future.. but I got myself into this.. and I am truely happy about motherhood". He nodded "Well congratulations... you will be station bound.. and I will inform Jack when he gets in tomorrow". She nodded "Thank you... and could we please keep this between us for the time being... I want a chance for it to sink in" he nodded "You should tell someone you can confide in... it may help to talk it over with a friend". She nodded as she rose to her feet "I have told Smithy.. I wanted him to be the first to know..." she noticed the unasked question cover the DI's features "No Gov... he isnt the father". Neil smiled "It did cross my mind..." she opened the door "Thanks Gov".

"Smithy... can I have a word?" Neil asked as he approached the Inspector in the canteen at lunch time. "Yeah sure.. grab a table.. you want a coffee?" he asked and Neil smiled "Milk one sugar" before moving to the table and resting down. He watched the young Inspector at the counter, Smithy had it hard, he had twice lost the women he loved and ended up alone before being sent to prison, he had respect that he had managed to carry on and as he sat down he smiled "Hows things Smithy?". He nodded "Fine Neil... I am guessing this is about Stevie". Neil nodded, Smithy was a copper through and through "You know her better than me... better than most... I am worried". Smithy nodded "It isnt going to be easy for her but she will cope". Neil nodded slightly "Being a single mother and having a career isnt going to be easy... especially in this line of work.." Smithy smiled as he took a sip of his tea "But this is Stevie Moss... if anyone can do it.. she can". They both paused as a folder dropped onto the table and they glanced up to the smirking face of Max Carter "The report you wanted Gov" was all he said before walking towards the canteen door "How long was he stood there?" Neil asked and Smithy shook his head "No idea... you need to find out what he knows and if anything make sure he keeps his trap shut... Im gunna warn Stevie" he smiled raising to his feet.

"Moss..." he smiled from CID door way, he led her into Neils office and closed the door before turning to face her "Listen.. I was talking to Neil earlier and..." she interupted "I know he's worried Smithy but I am fine.. we are going to be fine" she smiled as she placed a hand to her slim stomack. He nodded "I know... you dont need to tell me Moss... but.." she glared at him as he paused "What?" she asked "What happened Smithy?". He lent against the desk and she took it as a que to sit down "We may of been over heard". Her face fell almost instantly and she closed her eyes before he continued "Neil is looking for Max he will..." she interuped "Max... Max bloody Carter of all people Smithy.. Jesus" she placed her head into her hands and he moved towards her, kneeling infront of her "It will be ok" he offered the statement and she wanted to believe him but she knew there was no way she would come out of today smiling. "Not only will everyone know by the end of the day.. but they will all know before I have decided what I am going to say about the father". He sighed "I am so so sorry Stevie... I will do any thing I can.. if anybody gives you a hard time.." She nodded as she rose to her feet "Thanks Smithy" she smiled before making her way from the office.

"Here she is..." Max's voice was behind her before she had even reached her desk, she glanced back to Smithy as he stood in the office door way "Sunhills very own new parent" he annonced and she noticed all eyes shot to her "So when are you due DS Moss?" he asked. Smithys voice interupted her thoughts as she thought of the many ways to escape the situation "DS Carter... in here now" he stressed. Max glanced at him "How long you known... you always did have a special relationship eh Gov?" he smirked before walking into Neils office. She glanced at the many eyes on her before turning and making her way from CID, passing Neil in the door way. "Sort him out" she heard Smithy stress as he followed after her. "Stevie... oi.." he called as he grabbed her wrist "I am going to be station gossip.. I cant believe you and Neil did this..". He smiled "I am so sorry... and believe me Max Carter will live to regret it". She sighed "I dont care about Max... I wanted to tell people in my own time... have the support I needed first...". He smiled "I will support you every step of the way Moss... I am here.. please.. forgive me". She moved into his arms "Of corse Smithy... Im gunna need all the friends I can get for baby sitting duties". He laughed and kissed her gently on the top of her head. "Congratulations Serge" Mel smiled as she passed and Stevie sighed as she glanced up at him "And so it begins".


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for reading, I hope you like this chapter. The italics are flashbacks to explain what happened before Stevie had the baby. hope you enjoy and please leave me a review, thanks xx**

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Chapter Two

Stevie awoke in her bed and glanced to the man laying next to her, things had changed so much in the last two months, she had found someone she loved and who loved her, she placed a hand to her bump. He hadnt cared that she was going to be having a baby that wasnt his, he didnt care who the father was. He loved her for her and he loved her baby because it was part of her. She stared at him as he slept soundly next to her, he looked so peacefull and she grunted slightly "Enjoy it baby... it wont last when this little one is here". She cuddled into his chest and relaxed as he wrapped his arm round her and sleeply spoke "Morning baby". She grinned placing a kiss to his chest "Morning gorgeous... so today is the day". He nodded "Sssshhhh... the alarm hasnt gone off yet...". She grinned "We are going to meet Cupcake today". She noticed a smile trace his lips "Yes DS Moss... so let me sleep while I can..". His green eyes flicked open and stared down at her as the loud beeping sounded the room "Did you do that on purpose?" he asked and she laughed moving into his lips. Although the baby wasnt due for another four weeks she had been booked in for a c-section due to problems with the babys growth and she couldnt of been more excited. She stared at her man thinking of the last few months, she didnt know how she would of got through it had it not been for him standing beside her holding her hand.

_Stevie rested down on her sofa, it had been the most stressfull day at work to date. The news of her pregnancy had spread like wild fire and she spent the afternoon getting awkward glances and people congratulating her just so they could question her on who the father is. Arriving home she had flumped onto the sofa where she had sat for the last twenty minutes talking to her non exsitent bump of her six month baby. How was this all possible. "My little baby.. how'd of thought it eh?" she smiled rubing her hand over her belly. "My very own baby... I dont know how this happened but I am gunna spoil you rotten Cupcake... and love you enough for me and your Daddy... you dont need anyone else". She paused as the door bell rang "Who is that?" she smiled rubing her bump once again "Shall we see...". As she pulled the door open she grinned at him "You know Moss talking to yourself is the first sign of madness..." she stepped aside to let him in and smirked sarcastically "I think you will find answering yourself is the first sign of madness and it is completly rational to talk to yourself and besides I was talking to Cupcake". He laughed as he walked through to the kitchen "Cupcake?". She nodded "well I cant call the baby 'It' for the next three months... so its Cupcake". He laughed as he rested down at the kitchen table "I think Peanut is more..." he paused smirking slightly "Traditional". She nodded "And its more traditional to have a father but its also overrated" she rested down infront of him "What did you want?". He smiled "To tell you I am so sorry again... I am having Max up on a disaplinary.." she interupted "Dont bother Smithy... it was going to come out eventually... I just wish I had more time to prpare for the questions but its done now" she shrugged her shoulders and he smiled slightly "So you cant drink no more and I bet that fridge of yours is full of beers?" She laughed "Help yourself". He rose to his feet and moved to the fridge, pulling out a can of fosters he smirked "I can take these home if you need space.." she smiled rising to her feet "Im only gunna be pregant for a few more months..". He followed her through as she began her way towards the living room "And besides... what you gunna drink when you come round if you steal all my beers". The two rested onto the sofa and she took his hand "Feel this Smithy" she pushed his hand to her stomack and he smiled "I cant feel nothing" he began until her stomack vibrated "What was that?" he asked "Is it kicking?". She glared at him "Cupcake.." she stated "Has hicups". He grinned "Thats so sweet.. Im so proud of you.. you know that". She nodded "Why cant everyone be like you.." she paused and took his hand in hers "I erm.. I am going to tell my parents at the weekend.. I dont suppose you would come.. I mean if your busy it.." he interuped "Of corse I will Moss" he pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly._

_She sat inside his car outside her parents "I am so nervous Smithy". He shook his head "Dont be Moss..you are a beautiful and intelegant woman.. and I am sure they will be able to see how lucky that baby of yours will be". she placed her hand to his cheek "You are a lovely man Smithy..." she paused glancing at the huge house once again before back to him "But you have only met my parents once Smithy... they will kill me". They climbed from the car and they made their way to the house, she pulled her keys out and slid it into the lock once inside she shouted "Mum... Dad.." hearing her Mums voice from the kitchen she gulped "I cant do this Smithy... I cant.." he interupted "Yes you can.. and you are going to.. I am here.. you will be fine.. go on". They walked through to the kitchen and as soon as she set her eyes on her mother she froze "Hi Mum... you erm.." she placed a kiss to her Mums cheek as she spoke "Remember my friend Dale". She noticed her Mum eye Smithy suspiously before nodding "Of corse" glancing back to Stevie "Whats wrong sweetie.. we dont see you for months and months... and now.. you had to see me... you said it was urgent on the phone...". Stevie smiled slightly "Is Dad home?". Her Mother shook her head "No.. he is away on buisiness... so?". Stevie inhaled the biggest breath before blurting the words from her mouth "Im pregnant.. Im so sorry.. It was a mistake and..." her Mother interupted "Thats brilliant... we have been waiting for you to settle down... congratulations to both of you..." She noticed shock cover Smithys face as her Mother assumed he was the father, although she could see why she would jump to that conclusion. "I will have to ring your Father right now" she made her way from the room and Stevie turned to face Smithy as he stared at her amazed "Why didnt you correct her..." she smiled "I didnt want her to tell me I was irrisponsible and reckless" he interupted "You are going to have to tell her Im not the father" she interupted "Why... what harm will it do?". He let out a laugh and she knew what was coming "Stevie.. I dont want your family thinking I got you pregnant and then walked out on you... you need to tell her...". They paused as she walked into the room with her father on the phone. "Stevie... your Mum has just told me yours and Dales wonderfull news.. I am so pleased for you both" she glanced at Smithy briefly before staring at her Mum and the phone she was holding towards her "Listen Dad..." he intrupted "I dont think I have ever been this proud of you in my life darling... finding yourself a nice man and finaly settling down". She gulped "Dad we..." Smithy interupted "We couldnt be happier.. why cant wait for the baby to arrive". He wrapped his hand round her shoulder moving close to her ear, he placed a gentle kiss before whispearing "You owe me BIG Moss"._

_When they arrived back at her flat she grinned at him "I honestly cant thank you enough for today Smithy". He smiled "You are going to have to tell them the truth once the baby is here...". She nodded "I know but... you saved me from a huge lecture today..." she placed her hands to his shoulders and pushed into his lips. He kissed her for a second before pulling away "I erm.. I should go Stevie". She shook her head "Please dont Smithy... you are such an amazing man". He placed his hand to her face and grinned at her "And I dont want to be a consulation prize Stevie... just because you are afraid of doing this alone" she glanced down "I cant believe you think that little of me... I really care for you". He sighed "Im not saying you dont but I cant just be a replacment Dad". She sighed "I have feelings for you.. I have for a long time... I know Im hardly the sort of woman you would want to get involved with at the moment but..." she glanced down "Maybe you should go" she hadnt even had a chance to look into his eyes as his lips seeked hers out once again and he kissed her gently, letting his hands rest onto her hips. She took his hand as she pulled away "Lets go to bed". He couldnt help the grin spread over his face and he nodded "You sure?". She nodded as she pushed the door open "I am sure Smithy"._

_"What you doing getting involved with a pregnant woman?" Callum asked Smithy a few weeks later as they rested down with a tea in the canteen. "I dont care.." he replied. "Is it yours?" Callum smiled. Smithy shook his head "No... corse not... but she is the woman I have been dreaming of since... well since the day I met her... just be supportive Callum". He nodded "Its fine.. its your funeral mate... getting caught up with a woman knocked up with another mans baby". The voice made the two men jump "Maybe he is just a bigger man than you Sergeant Stone?". She glanced to Smithy "Can I have a word please?". He smiled at the small blonde, her bump was starting to grow now and he couldnt help but think of the beautiful baby. "My office..." he smiled rising to his feet "See you Callum". Arriving at his office he pushed the door open and she stepped inside "I wanted to let you know the midwife is concerned about the babys growth.. I have to have a scan this afternoon... if Im not to much of an embaressment to be seen with..." he grabbed her wrist as she headed for the door "Oi... I was defending you... I have stuck by you through all this so dont come in here on your high horse having a go at me... I love you.. and will stand by you no matter what..." she interupted "You jumped quick enough to tell him the baby isnt yours..." he sighed "Well its not mine.. and I cant start telling people it is... thats not fair but I love you and Cupcake... why dont you trust me?" he asked as he pulled her into his arms. "Its true though isnt it... you can go out and find a woman that can get drunk and have a good time with you... who you can have sex with..." he interupted "We have had sex". She shook her head "Once Smithy... and I cant now until after the baby... it dont feel right". He nodded "I know and I would never pressure you... yeah I could go out and find another woman but she wouldnt be you so I wouldnt love her... I love you so can you get over what people think and tell me that you love me too and we are good". She smiled "I love you too Smithy and we are good" she pushed into his lips and placed a gentle kiss "The scan is at four... let me know if you cant make it". He kissed her lips once again "I wouldnt miss it if my life depended on it... I will meet you in the front office... we can go together"._

she watched him as he dressed, it was still dark out, but then it was the end of November and only six in the morning. "You are staring DS Moss". She nodded "I am your girlfriend... Im alowed too..." she paused as he moved over to where she sat on the bed and placed a kiss to her lips, she gripped his bear chest, he was still damp from the shower he had just had but he felt so perfect as he kissed her so gently, he placed his hand to her bump "Come on.. that baby needs to come out today". She nodded "Promise you will ring my Mum..." he interupted "As soon as Cupcake is here". She smiled "I am so nervous" he kissed her lips "Its natural Stevie... but I love you and I will be holding your hand every step of the way... I think you are going to be an amazing Mummy" she smiled "And you will be an amazing Step-Daddy... I love you". He finished dressing and she couldnt help but stare at him, he was a lovely man and soon their Cupcake would be here and their life together would start.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed chapter two. Hope you enjoy this one. Thanks Jodie xxx**

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Chapter Three

"So Miss Moss... you are booked for your c-section at eight.. do you understand the process or have any questions?" The young dark haired woman asked as Stevie sat nervously holding Smithys hand. "No.. I have spoke to my midwife about the process" she tightened her grip on Smithys hand and the lady smiled "With you being five weeks early and we already know the baby is small it will be transfered to the special baby unit..." she interupted "Will I not even be able to hold it..". The woman smiled at the two "Not straight away.. we will have to make sure the baby is ok first.." Smithy smiled "Is there a chance it may not be then?". She smiled between the two once again "There is a risk with all babys... even full term ones... five weeks really is not that early so please try not to worry.." she paused and Smithy kissed her hand gently "I will be back for you in a little while" the lady smiled before leaving them sat alone in the room. "Smithy..." he glanced down and he could see fear on her face "The baby might die". He shook his head "It wont happen... with you as a Mummy that little Cupcake couldnt be stronger". She shook her head "Dont Smithy.." she pulled from him and he sighed "I dont know what you want me to say Stevie... I know that little baby of ours is going to be fine.." she turned to him "But it wont really matter to you if its not... its not your baby.. its mine and lets be honest you would probably be relieved.." he interupted "Thats not fair.. if I wasnt happy about the baby I wouldnt of let our relationship develop". She shook her head "No.. you are not truely happy I am having this baby.. not as happy as you would of been if it was yours..." she watched as he rose to his feet and headed to the door, he turned back to her briefly "Maybe I'd of preffered the baby to of been mine, but then does that really make me a monster?" he paused and she glanced down as he pulled on the door handle, still keeing his eyes on her "But it really didnt make a difference to me... I would love that baby like it was my own... and if we ever had another one they would both be exactly the same... and you know why?" he asked and she felt tears prick at her eyes "Because for some stupid reason Im madly in love with you... and that baby is part of you but I guess thats never gunna be good enough". The tears streamed down her cheeks as he walked from the room, she knew he wasnt bothered about the baby not being his, and it takes a real man to take on someone elses baby and Smithy hadnt even thought twice about it. She knew he loved her and she truely loved him. How could she have spoke to him like that, however worried or upset she was, it wasnt Smithys fault.

He glanced at his phone as it buzzed in his pocket. He had rested down onto the bench just outside the hospital with his cup of coffee, he could see her name flashing up and he wanted to answer it but what was the point, he couldnt compete, he would never be the babys father and she would never let him forget it. He sighed as the phone rang off and he pushed it back into his pocket. A few seconds later it beeped and he pulled it out '1 new voicemail' the screen read, he smiled as he dialled to get his message. "One new message left today at eight fourteen AM..." the voice began and he took a deep breath as she spoke, he could hear the tears in her voice "Im really sorry Smithy.. I was so out of order and I know its no excuse but I am really frightened.." her voice paused and she sobed slightly "The nurse is coming for me in five minutes... and they said if you want to be there you have to be back.. I can totally understand if you dont... but I really want you to be here when our baby is born...". He sighed to himself as the phone line went dead, she was sobing before she hung up and he knew if he didnt get back he would probably regret it for the rest of his life but then if he did go back he would have to face her and even though she was in the wrong he felt guilty, he shouldnt of got up and walked out, he should of stayed and proved how much he loved her and her baby.

"Stevie..." she wiped her tears as the midwife spoke "We need to take you to thearte now...". Stevie nodded slightly as the midwife continued "I did try and find your partner.. Im sorry". Stevie shook her head "Its not your fault.. I erm... can I just have a second to go to the bathroom...". The midwife nodded "I will grab the wheelchair". She watched the lady disapear before she headed into the ensuite of her room, she pulled some toilet roll from the holder and dabbed at her eyes. Hearing her bedroom door once again she called "Im just coming" as the bathroom door opened she glanced in the mirror and she grinned as he rested against the door frame "Smithy" she sobbed as she turned to face him "I am so sorry". He walked over and pulled her into a hug, he kissed the top of her head "I love you Stevie.. I need you to understand that..". She nodded "I know.. and I love you too Smithy..". The midwife called through to them "Its time Stevie". She nodded as she headed into the room and sunk into the wheelchair, he smiled at her as he knelt down infront of her "Do you want me there... cause if you rather I waited here..." she shook her head "No Smithy... please come with me.. I want you there..". He nodded as the lady began to pull on the wheelchair, he was happy but he was about to become a step-dad and he honestly didnt know if he really could handle it but one thing was for sure he had to try as hard as he possible could and never give up for Stevies sake.

He sat and held her hand as the epidural was injected into her back, it was uncomfatable and she was so relieved she wasnt on her own and she had him there with her. Once she layed back on the bed they began to place a screen over her swollen stomack. He kissed her forehead "You ok?" he asked and she nodded, her legs were starting to go numb, infact her whole body was, it was such an unusual sensation. He kept his hand on hers as she stared at him "Im sorry Smithy... I shouldnt of..." he cut in "Stevie.." he kissed her lips "I love you... and I will never do anything to hurt you..." he paused as he squeezed on her hand "You need to relax... stop worry about me and lets concentrate on this little person eh?". She nodded and he kissed her lips gently "You need to start thinking names" he stated. She smiled, she had a few in the back of her mind but until she knew if she was having a baby boy or girl she couldnt even think of making a descision. She could feel a lot of pulling and tugging, it was so strange and she couldnt find a way to describe how she was feeling. She noticed him glance over the screen and he paled slightly "Is it horrible?". He shook his head slightly "Its not for the faint hearted put it that way.." and she grinned "And there was me thinking you were a big hard as nails copper" she paused as a sense of releif ran through her body and she saw the baby lifted from her stomack. "Stevie.. look" he grinned as they moved the baby towards the door "Is it ok?" she asked and a young midwife smiled "He seems fine.. we just need to cheek as he is early... try and stay calm..". Stevie grinned "He... its a boy?". The lady nodded "Its a boy..." she gestured to the screen "They are just removing the placenta and then they well put your stichs in.. I will find out what is happening with your son". Smithy kissed her forehead "A boy.. its a boy Stevie.. you have a son". She shook her head "We.. we have a son". She smiled up at him as he kissed her lips and she grinned "I want you to adopt him.. so he is yours.." Smithy smiled slightly "Are you serious?". She nodded "I want him to be yours... and I want us to be a proper family.." Smithy nodded "Stevie there is nothing I want more but... you need to think about his Dad.. this bloke might want a chance to get to know his son". Stevie glanced down and he kissed her lips once again "Forget that at the moment... just concentrate on our baby".

She had been moved into recovery and was in a lot of pain when the midwife knocked gently on the door "I have a little man who wants to meet his Mummy" she wheeled in the cot and Stevie grinned as her tiny baby came in to sight "Is he ok?" she asked softly and the midwife nodded "He is absoultly fine.. he weighed five pound so he is small... but he is healty.. we are going to move you to a special care unit so you both get the care you need..." Smithy moved round and took the babys hand in his finger "He is beautfull Stevie... he looks just like you.." she smiled as she tried to push up in the bed, crying out in pain the midwife smiled "I will see if you can have some more pain relief..." Stevie shook her head "I just want to hold my baby". The Lady nodded as she helped her up a little futher and she lifted the baby up and into her arms. Stevie felt the floods of tears run down her cheeks as he slept soundly in her arms. "Has he got a name yet?" the lasy asked. Stevie nodded "Charlie..." she paused and glanced at Smithy "Charlie Smith". The lady smiled "Sounds like a right little charmer.. I will give you some time... I will be back soon when we are ready to move you". Smithy smiled as he pulled the camera from one of her bags and began to take pictures of her and the tiny little boy. He smiled "Smith?" he asked and she nodded "I was kinda hoping one day that I would have your surname.. so it makes sense he takes yours..". A grin spread over his lips "That almost sounded like a proposal DS Moss?". She nodded "And if it was?". He smiled "I cant wait to be your husband.. and a proper Daddy to this little man..". She smiled "I love you... you know that dont you?". He nodded "Corse I do.. and I love you too.. both of you" he lent in and placed a kiss to the babys head before moving to her lips. "I am so proud of you" he grinned and she smiled at him "Thank you Smithy... for everything". He nodded and she could see tears forming in his eyes "I erm.. I need to go and ring your Mum... I will be back in a few minutes.." he lifted her nurses alarm down onto the bed and grinned as he walked to the door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for the reviews so far. I hope you like this chapter. Please review. Thanks Jodie xxx**

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Chapter Four

She walked into his living room and smiled as he sat talking to the tiny baby. It had been eight days since she had Charlie and she knew now more than ever what an amazing man Smithy was. He hadnt noticed her yet as he sat telling Charlie how all of his friends would fancy his Mum, how amazing she was and how lucky he was to have her as a mum. "And I am always gunna be around too little man... even when you Mum realises how much better she can do.. I will still be here for you.." she cut him off and he smiled up at her "I think that is a matter of opinion Smithy..." she moved over and rested down next to him on the sofa, gently stroking her sons head before placing a kiss to Smithys lips "You have a good sleep?" he asked and she nodded "I feel much better.. thanks". He grinned "Good cause Charlie is waiting for a cuddle from his Mummy". She smiled "Erm.. I will just stick the kettle on first... and he looks so comfatable there... you want one?". He nodded slightly as she disapeared towards the kitchen. He rose from the sofa and placed Charlie into the moses basket in the corner of the room before making his way out to her "You know I am back at work on Monday..." she interupted "Yeah.. I was thinking you are entilted to two weeks parternity leave..." he smiled "Im not entilted to anything Stevie... and I have pushed my luck taking what I have... I need to go back... and I think it will do you and Charlie good to have some time alone". She sighed "Yeah I guess". He smiled "And besides... you can bring him to show him off at the station.." she interupted "I dont think a new born baby should be hanging out in a police station". She glanced up at the clock hanging on the wall "The midwife is coming in about an hour so can you give him his feed?". He smiled "Why dont you try breast feeding again?" he smiled and she cut in "Because the midwife is coming Smithy". He nodded "Yeah I heard you but I am sure she is used to it.." she interupted "Can you please just give him his feed... Im going for a bath". He sighed as she walked from the kitchen, Stevie had spent the last week in pain and it was plain for anyone to see she was struggling but Smithy was starting to worry now, he couldnt remember the last time she had fed her son or cuddled him off to sleep. He smiled as he glanced at a photo of her and him on the fridge, it was taken long before she was even pregnant and she looked so happy, now all she seemed to do was be exahasted and he respected that it wasnt easy but he was starting to think she regretted having Charlie and he needed to help her as best he could to snap out of it.

Stevie opened the door and smiled to the older lady, she hadnt been to visit Stevie at home before and she was slightly upset it wasnt her usual midwife but she smiled a polite "Hello..." which the lady took the opputunity to introduce herself "Hi, I am Sarah Jameson.." Stevie gestured into the house and the lady stepped inside, she had thick black hair styled much like Stevies own, she was much taller than Stevie and slightly plumpier. "So where is little Charlie?" she asked as Stevie led her through to the living room "My partner has just taken him to the shop.. he will be back any second". Sarah nodded "How are you feeling?". Stevie nodded "I am fine.. Im still a bit sore but I guess thats to be expected". Stevie felt nervous as the lady read over her notes. "How is Charlie feeding?" she asked and Stevie smiled "Fine.. he is being bottle fed but he is ok". She nodded once again "And sleeping?". Stevie smiled, were these trick questions, she didnt know the answers "Erm ok.. he wakes once at night but erm.." she paused as the door banged "That will be my partner..." she rose to her feet and headed into the hall leaving Sarah alone. "Ok?" he asked softly as he lifted Charlie from his pram. She nodded "Yeah the midwife is here..." he smiled as she led him into the living room, Sarah rose to her feet as he held his hand out "Dale Smith.." he introduced himself and she smiled "Sarah Jameson... and I am guessing this is little Charlie". Stevie smiled as she glanced over the baby "I will stick the kettle on..". Smithy shook his head "No.. sit down.. I will do it.." she rested into the seat and he went to pass Charlie to her "Why dont you put him in his basket?" she asked and Smithy smiled "Sarah will want to check him over in a minute..." he paused as he held Charlie out to her "Hold your son Stevie". She reluctantly took the baby into her arms and he smiled at her "Tea?". She nodded and he turned to Sarah "Would you like a tea or coffee?". She nodded "Tea.. two sugars please". He nodded turning and smiling sweetly at Stevie before heading out of the door. "Ok.. I will just give Charlie a quick check over now.." she moved over and took him from Stevies arms, she had held him for less than two minutes but the sense of relief that ran through her body was enormous as she watched the lady talking to her son.

Sarah had drank her tea, checked Stevie and Charlie over and was just leaving. Smithy smiled "I will show you out". Stevie glanced to Charlie as he slept soundly in his basket before the lady shook her hand and left. "Thank you" Smithy smiled as he pulled the door open to let her out. She smiled "Take care.." she smiled as she headed down the path. He glanced into the house before moving out and pulling the door to, jogging to catch up with her "Sarah... sorry" he smiled as she turned back to him "Did Stevie say anything to you?". She smiled "What she says is confidentual.." he cut in "She isnt coping". Sarah nodded "It is common for a first time Mum to find it difficult". He shook his head "No.. I think she is really struggling.. I do all the feeds.. I bath him.. I put him to bed... I struggle to get her to hold him and when she does I have to take him back after a few minutes...". Sarah smiled "I noticed a few signs of post natal depression..." she smiled as she dug into her bag and pulled out some leaflets "I didnt realise it was quite as bad as it is but if you are very concerned then you need to try and get her to open up.. if not to you there are proffesionals that can help... or a friend". He smiled "Thanks I will pass these on". He turned back to his house and seeing her staring out the window he sighed as she just glared at him. He pushed the leaflets into his back pocket before heading back up the path towards her.

He walked into the living room and smiled "Im just gunna go for a quick shower.." she cut in "What was you saying?" he sighed "I just asked her for some advice on feeding.." she shook her head "No you didnt... dont lie to me Smithy". He smiled "I am going for a shower... we will talk when you have calmed down". She glared at him as he disapeared off towards the stairs. She glanced at her son before following him. "What did you say to her?" she stressed as she walked into the bedroom, he was stood in only black boxers and she felt herself eye his body slightly "I just asked her for some advice..." she smiled "On what?" she all but shouted at him. "I am worried Stevie... you arent bonding..." she interupted "I am doing just fine.. I am not a bad Mum". He nodded "And I am not saying that you are.. Im saying you are just struggling a little". She grabbed for his jeans from the bed and pulled the leaflets out "So whats this?" she shouted as she eyed them "Post natal depression..." she glanced up at him "You think Im depressed?". He smiled "I dont know... Im not a doctor... I just dont think you are you". She glared at him "I love Charlie.." he interupted "And that is good... but you arent bonding". She picked up a photo of the day he was born in the hospital from Smithys bed side table "So what... this is nothing?" she asked as she waved the metal frame at him. "No.. but how many photos have you had taken since that one..." she shook her head "I dont like having my photo taken you know that". He sighed "You wont see your friends and family... the only reason you are keeping me round is because you wont look after him Stevie" he shouted, he hadnt ment to shout at her but he was angry. "I can cope.." he smiled slightly "If you can cope so well on your own why wont you go home?". She laughed "You said you wanted me here... what you changed your mind and this is you trying to get me out?". He shook his head "No I love having you here... both of you.. but you need to snap out of this... you are ment to be his Mum". She wanted to scream at him but instead she rose the photo frame and chucked it accross the room at him. He ducked and glanced at where it had smashed to the floor, he stared at her and he could see the shame in her eyes as she realised what she had done "And this is you coping..." he stressed "You need help and until you can get it... I dont think I can be around you" he paused as tears streamed down her face "And I dont think Charlie should be either". He gestured to the ensuite bathroom "Im going to have a shower.. if you want me to help you then we can talk when Im done... if not I want you to go until you are prepaired to let me help you".

She headed back down the stairs, was Smithy right? maybe she wasnt coping. How had she thrown a photo frame at him, she would never forgive herself if she hurt him, she loved him. She glanced in at Charlies moses basket, maybe it was best all round if she just left, maybe Charlie was better off without her. It wasnt that she didnt love him, cause she did, he was such a lovely little boy and she would do anything for him but she couldnt do this, she was a useless mother and she wanted the best for her son. She jumped at the voice behind her "I dont want you to go". She turned to face him, he was dripping wet and had on only a towel, she smiled slightly "I didnt mean what I said... I just want the old Stevie back... and I know this hasnt been easy on you but I know you are capable of being an amazing Mummy and I know you adore that little boy". She sighed "He deserves better Smithy.. when I hold him.. he crys.. if I give him his milk he wont take it.. I cant get him to sleep.. he only wants you". He shook his head "Thats not true Stevie... he loves you.. and he wants you.. but you need to try.. I want to help you... to get you through this so we can start doing normal things... but.. Im not sure how to if you wont help yourself?". She smiled "I dont know how to be a Mum.." he interupted "And you think I have a clue what I am doing.. you just have to do what you think is best... you will make mistakes.. I have... but together we can get through this... cause you are amazing Stevie... and we both love you" he moved over and wrapped his wet arms round her as she sobbed. He smiled as Charlie started to cry "He wants a feed... get him out.. I will get you a milk.. and we will do it together". She felt the nerves run through her body as he walked from the room. She lent into the basket and lifted him out and moved to the sofa and rested down with him. When Smithy returned a few moments later he smiled "Here" he passed the milk to her and grabbed for a cushion "Put this under your arm.. he is heavier than he looks.. her will give you a dead arm" he pushed the cushion between her arm a and the arm of the sofa. He rested down next to her and she shook her head "I cant do this Smithy". He nodded "Yes you can.. we can do it together.." he placed his hand over hers round the bottle and helped her to ease it into her sons mouth he placed his other arm round her shouler and gently played with her hair.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you for all the reviews so far and I really hope you like this chapter, please review. Thanks Jodie xxx**

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Chapter Five

"Oi Moss..." she heard Smithy shout from the living room and she sighed before heading in towards his familiar accent "Look.. Stevie look at him..." she smiled at her young son before going and resting down next to Smithy on the floor "He is sitting up.. all by himself... who is my clever little boy?" he grinned and Stevie placed her hand to Smithys face "He did that last night Smithy". Stevie had returned to her flat when Charlie had turned two months old, he was now six months and she was confident she could now cope on her own, although her and Smithy still spent a lot of time together she could tell he was missing out on lots of thngs Charlie was starting to do and he didnt like it. "I hate this" he sighed "Im missing so much". She lent into his lips "Things will get easier Smithy... eventually we will be living together..." he interupted "When?" and she smiled "I erm.. I havent really thought about it Smithy... I mean.. its a long way off". He glanced down at Charlie "Why? why does it have to be long way off?". Stevie smiled "What are you saying?". He glanced at Charlie before back to her "When Charlie spends next weekend with your parents... move in with me?". She smiled "I dunno Smithy... he isnt easy and you have to get up for work and..." he interupted "Let me deal with that... we are in love.. I adore him and I want us to be a family a proper little family... and maybe we could even think about having another one" she laughed "Im still getting over having this one..." he laughed as he moved into her lips and placed a gentle kiss "Well we have lots of fun practicing dont we... think how much more we could have if we lived together?". She grinned "Once you have got us.. there will be no turning back.. you will be stuck with us?". He smiled "Is that a yes?". She nodded "Its a yes" he pulled her into a hug and as he pulled away he pushed his lips tight onto hers "I love you so much... I think we need some champaine to celebrate". He lifted the young child in his arms and began to walk through her flat towards the kitchen "Lets get you a juiceas well shall we little man?". Stevie watched him leave, she loved Smithy and she wanted to live with him and although she had struggled so much in the begining she did wonder if this would send her backwards and the bonding she had worked so hard on with Charlie would all be a waste.

The weekend was getting closer at a fast rate and Stevie had taken Charlie to her parents house on the Friday afternoon and decided a trip to Sunhill was in order, it had been a long time since she had been to the building and caught up with her friends. Arriving at the station she headed straight for his office knowing he was always the first person she called on. She knocked lightly on his door and waited "Yep..." she pushed the door open and nothing could prepare her for the sight the other side of the door, there he sat the father of her young son, talking to Smithy. When she had found out about her little surprise he had already left to do a years training to be in specialist crime and she had never expected him to come back, but here he was sitting right infront of her. "What you doing here Moss?" Smithy smiled as the man eyed her suspisiously "I have just poped in to say hi to a few people and I thought I would see if you could knock off early?". He nodded slightly "I think we are done here now... so yeah I dont see why not". The man rose to his feet, shook Smithys hand and moved towards the door, she stared at him, he was still just as good looking as when he had left, he had always had a rough and ready look that she couldnt resist and she couldnt help but notice certain features Charlie had inhereted from his father. Stevie watched him go and smiled to Smithy "Whats he doing back here?". Smithy smiled "He has finished his training and has returned as a Sergeant.. he starts Monday.." Smithy rose to his feet and moved towards her placing his hand gently to her forehead "Are you feeling ok Moss... you look like you have seen a ghost?". She smiled "Im fine Smithy... Im just gunna pop up to CID.. we will leave in about half hour?". He nodded "Sounds great... we can pick up a take away and start on decorating that little boy of ours bedroom". She nodded "Ok.. Im all packed up so we can grab my stuff tomorrow". He nodded "Great".

She made her way up to CID her mind was doing over time, she hadnt even told him she had his baby, she was hopng he was going to stay right away and never return to Sunhll, this was her worst nightmare and she knew she had to tell Smithy she had to be honest with him but that was a conversation she really wasnt looking foward to. Seeing Mickey heading towards her she grinned "Ello stranger" he smiled and she grinned "Hi. how are you?". She knew he was talking as he lead her towards the fairly empty canteen but she wasnt listening to a word. Things in her life were finaly starting to look up and she knew it was all about to go so very wrong. After about forty minutes she felt the hand rest gently onto her shoulder "So its you thats kidnapped my bird eh?" Smithy laughed to Mickey and he smiled "Yeah... we were just having a catch up aint we Moss" she noticed Mickey had rose to his feet and she smiled as he said goodbye and Smithy knelt down infront of her "You sure you're ok Stevie?". She smiled as she placed a slight kiss to the corner of his mouth "Everything is perfect Smithy... lets go yeah". She rose to her feet and smiled as he placed a gentle kiss to her lips, her hand shot to his head as he went to pull away and she pulled him back in, letting his tounge slip into her mouth she turned the gentle kiss into a lustfull embrace, as she pulled away she smiled "Maybe the decorating can wait until tomorrow" he grinned "Now now DS Moss... that also sounds like a propersisition?" she laughed "Its not a propersistion Inspector Smith..." she moved up onto tip toes and lent into his ear "I just want you to shag my brains out..". He smiled as she lowered herself back to her normal height "Well... that is certainly a request I cant ignore... and as we have the place to ourselves I suggest you shift your arse". She turned and the two began to head from the station.

He wrapped his arms round her as she moved to the edge of the bed, the covers pulled tightly round her "And where do you think you are going Miss Moss?" she felt his lips moving over her shoulder and down her back and his hands moving onto the front of her body under the covers "To stop you from sexually harrasing me Mr Smith..." he turned to look at her and she placed a gentle kiss to his lips "I thought I would go and make a start on Charlies room" he grinned "Are you staying like that?" he smiled as he dragged his fingers up her back "Oh yeah... Im going to start climbing ladders and decorating with no clothes on..." his eyes lit up and she smiled "Corse Im not... have you got an old shirt I can put on?". He sighed as he lent down to her shoulder once again and placed a tender kiss, moving his lips to her ear he whispeared "You Stevie Moss are a complete tease..." he kissed her neck gently and smiled as she turned to look at him "And I couldnt love you more". She smiled "I love you too Dale Smith.. more than I could ever tell you". He pulled on her figure as he layed back onto the bed and she moved her body over his "Once more" he grinned and she laughed "We have already been at it three times Smithy... you are like a randy teenager.." he laughed as she began to kiss his chest "But you cant tease me like that and then..." he grinned as she stared up at him "And then say no.." she smiled "Find me a shirt.." he shook his head "Let me play" she let out a loud laugh "Im not a toy Smithy". He kissed her lips "I think once more and then we will go and decorate the bedroom.. and then I will be able to focus". She sighed "Once more... and then you promise.." he grinned "Cross my heart... I even have a shirt that would be perfect for you".

"You know she had a baby..." Callum smiled to him as he sipped his beer, he had figured it out by the photo of Stevie with a newborn baby on Smithys desk but he was safe, it had been over a year since he had slept with her. "Yeah... bout time her and Smithy got it on". Callum smiled "I told him when he got involved he was a fool.. taking on another mans baby... I wouldnt do it but he seems happy... and he adores Charlie". He smiled "Smithy isnt the babys father?". Callum shook his head "No.. he got involved with her when she was pregnant... the father had never been involved... Smithy said she doesnt want him to be involved.. I have often wondered if she even knew who he was... I mean she has never been little miss innocent has she". He nodded slightly "So how old is the baby now then?". Callum smiled "I dunno.. about six months I spose". He began to do the math in his head and took anther large sip of his beer as it dawned on him that the baby was infact his.

The doorbell rang and he grinned up at her as she panted the walls the pale blue colour, she had on one of his white shirts that completly drowned her tiny figure, and he hadnt mentoned that he was able to see straight through it giving him the perfect chance to eye his girlfriends curves from all different angles as she stretched up the walls, his body was hidden by only a lose pair of black jogging bottoms and he was finding it hard to hide his excitement as he watched her and he was about to make his move when the doorbell rang once again. "I'll be back in a minute". He headed out onto the landing and she heard him jog down the stairs, she climbed down from the ladder and moved out into the hall and instantly reconising the voice "Sorry to just turn up.." Smithy smiled "Its ok.. what can I do for you?". His voice sounded gaurded and she froze as he spoke "I want to see Stevie.. and Callum said she would be here". She moved down the stairs and smiled as Smithy stared at her looking confused and the man in the doorway spoke "I think you owe me an explanation Stevie... I want to meet my son" she stared at Smithy as his face fell to the floor, in them six words she had seen his heart breaking, he had taken her on when she was pregnant, stood by her and Charlie through her post natal depression and had treated Charlie as if he was his own, doing more for him than most men would and here he was losing him, and she could see in his eyes he already knew it, he would never be Charlies dad and now they couldnt even carry on pretending.

**Thanks again xx**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks for all the reviews so far. Please review and I hope you enjoy xx**

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Chapter six

"You lied to me?" Smithy stressed. Stevie shook her head "No.. it wasnt like that.." he interupted "No... for months you have been telling me I didnt know Charlies Dad... and that there was no chance he was coming back... I have took him on as my own I vertually brought him up the first few months when you were too depressed to get out the fucking bed and this.." he glanced at the man still stood in the door way "What was the point... you can play happy familys for real now". He reached round her and grabbed for his coat pushing his feet into his shoes he pushed past and out the door "Please... Smithy.." she grabbed his wrist "No.. I dont want to hear excuses... if you had told me from the start..." he glared at the man "You have a wonderfull son.. dont screw it up". He stormed away and the tears began to stream down her cheeks "I didnt mean to..." he began she shook her head "Dont.. just go". He sighed "I ment what I said... I want to meet my son". She glared at him "Your son... your son that Smithy has been bringing up for the last six months.. you have no right to storm in here..." he cut in "You had no right to hide all this from me". She watched him head to the door "I will be back.. and that is a promise... this isnt over". She slammed the door as the man walked away, how was this happening, when she woke up this morning her life was brilliant, she had a gorgeous boyfriend she was moving in with and a wonderfull son. She pulled her phone out and dialed his number, he didnt answer but then she really wasnt exspecting him too "Smithy.." she paused trying to think of the right words "I erm.. I dont know what to say to make things better... I know I should of told you but this doesnt change things.. I love you and I want you me and Charlie to be a perfect little family" she sighed "Please.. just come home Smithy... we need to talk". She moved up the stairs and pulled on her clothes before waiting in the living room, hoping he would return to sort things out.

She woke with a start as the front door banged, the TV was still on and she glanced up at the clock which read 12.56am. She rubed her eyes and glanced at him as he appeared in the door way "He has gone then". She smiled "He left just after you.. we need to talk Smithy". He shook his head "No... we have nothing to say.." she rose to her feet and grabbed for his arm "I mean every word when I tell you I love you.." he cut in "Stevie.. you told me I didnt know Charlies Dad.. you said I had never met him that it was a one night stand that ment nothing". She smiled "It was a one night stand that ment nothing.." he laughed "With someone you spend everyday with... what was I the consulation prize.. he had got a promotion and left and you needed someone to stick around.. to babysit.." she shook her head "No... I love you" he pulled from her and walked to the door "I have done so much for you... I love Charlie to pieces.. I even let you tell your parents he was mine to save you having to tell them the truth..." he shook his head "And all the while his real Dad was just a phone call away.. so guess what Im gunna make this really easy for you... Im walking away.. I hope you and Leon are really happy together". She shook her head "Please dont do this too me Smithy... please.. its not fair on Charlie.." he interupted "Dont you dare... dont you fucking dare.. I have done everything for that little boy... I stood by you when everyone called you a slut... when people warned me off.. and told me I was a fool getting involved with you.. when you were depressed.. when you couldnt even hold your own child.. I was there helping you.. when you couldnt feed him and bath him.. I did it... and I taught you how to do it... and you couldnt even be honest with me and tell me Leon is his Dad... so I could of at least prepaired myself for this". She glanced down "Im so sorry Smithy.. I know I am in the wrong.. I should of been honest but this doesnt mean we are over.." he nodded "Yeah it does.." she smiled "So you want me to go.. you are going to chuck away our relationship.. everything Charlie knows over this a stupid one night stand I had before we even started dating.." he glared at her "A stupid one night stand that gave you your son..." she interupted "Our son" he shook his head "No.. he is yours and Leons... he never has and never will be mine... and because of you I have lost the best thing in my life.." she smiled "No you havent I want us to make a go of things.. to be together..." he smiled "Cause you dont want to be a single mum... thats what this was always about... and now you can do this the right way.. with Charlies Dad". She laughed "Are you just fucking stupid..." he tried to interupt but she cut him off "I havent done any of this for Charlie.. I did it all because I am in love with you... because I want to spend my life with you nothing to do with being a single Mum... I could of got any man to be a 'Dad'... why would I of ruined our friendship for you to play Dad to my son". He moved towards her "Its always gunna be the same aint it... your son.. he is always gunna be your son.." she cut in "Well I carried him and went through an operation to have him...". He shook his head as he tried to move away and she grabbed his arm "Who the hell do you think you are.. alright I should of told you the truth about the night Charlie was concieved but you are his Dad... you are the man he knows as his Dad". He glared at her "You are unbelievable... are you trying to use him to get to me?". She rose her hand and slapped his face, she hadnt ment to but he had made her so angry and she knew deep down he was right "Im sorry..." she gulped covering her face "I didnt.. I shouldnt of done that but I would never ever use Charlie as a weapon against you...". He moved towards her pushing his lips onto hers, his hands pulling roughly in her hair as they fell back onto the sofa.

she snuggled into his chest as they lay on the sofa under the blanket that normally rested on the back. "Does this mean I am forgiven?" she asked glancing up into his eyes. He smiled slightly "No.. its a start.. you are gunna have to do that lots and lots more times before I fully forgive you". She grinned "I can live with that..." she paused as she placed a gentle kiss to his chest "Where do we go from here Smithy?". He sighed "As much as it pains me to say it... Leon is Charlies Dad and you owe it to Charlie at least to give him the chance to know his real father". She sighed "I wish he was yours Smithy". He glanced down "So do I.. but he never will be Stevie... so we need to make the best of a bad situation.. let Leon be a Dad and I will be the best step dad I can...". She smiled as she snuggled into his body once again "What about when he wants access?" she asked and Smithy kissed the top of her head "Im hoping the three of us can act that adults and work something out... at the end of the day Charlie is Leons son.. and its natural he is gunna want to know him.." she moved up and gently kissed his lips "You.. Dale Smith are an amazing man... now.. I think we have some decorating to do.. that is if you still want me to move in with you?". He nodded "Corse I do.. there is nothing I want more than to live with you and Charlie". She moved from his body, wrapping her tiny figure in the blanket. He covered himself with a cushion and she smiled "Are you coming to help me?". He shook his head "Na.. I thought I would leave you to it.." he grabbed for the TV remote and she smiled "If you arent planning on helping.. I can do it naked then". He smiled as she headed to the door "Alright Im coming.. Im coming".

"I really dont want to do this Smithy..." she sighed a few days later as he rested down next to her on the sofa, leaving baby Charlie sat playing on the floor. "Look at him he is so happy... we are his parents". He kissed her forehead "Its a few hours Stevie... give Leon a chance.." she smiled at him "Are you two getting on ok at work?". Smithy smiled taking her hand in his "Not really... I think he blames me for you not telling him about Charlie.." she instantly turned her gaze from his too Charlie "Oi.. Im not having a dig.. I know it wasnt because of me". She sighed "I have done all the hard work and now he is going to come in and play Dad". Smithy smiled "Just let him get to know Charlie..." he paused as the door bell rang and he rose from the sofa "I will be upstairs if you need me..." she nodded as he disapeared and she rose to her feet and headed out towards the front door. "Hi.." she smiled as she held the door open for Leon to come in "He is through there..." she grabbed his wrist as he headed towards the living room "If you are going to do this Leon.. you are going to have to be invovled.. not fly in and out of his life.. he likes how things are at the moment and I dont want him distressed unnecessarily". He sighed "He is my son Stevie... is it not bad enough another man has been playing Dad for the past six months" he pulled an envelope from his back pocket "I want you to have this... its my contribution" he headed into the living room and she opened it to reveal a wod of money inside. She moved into the living room and noticed Leon was just sat staring at their son sat on the floor "I cant take this" she smiled passing the envelope back to him "Im not taking money off of you.. me and Smithy are coping just fine". He sighed "Its bad enough you have shacked up with Smithy with my son Stevie... I at least want to support him".

Smithy layed down onto the bed, he had listened from the top of the stairs to some of the conversation between Stevie and Leon downstairs but had decided if she wanted him to know she would tell him herself. He began to flick through a magazine next to the bed. He sighed before dropping it down onto the bed, he rose to his feet and headed over to her box of stuff she still hadnt managed to unpack. He opened it up and lifted some of her books onto his book shelves. He glanced over the back of 50 Shades Of Grey, it figured thats the sort of thing she would read. He dug inside once again and pulled out some DVDs and placed them onto the dressing table before reaching into the bottom of the box, and pulling out a large photo album, he opened it up and glanced at the first few photos, of Stevie in her school days, she hadnt changed much, she hadnt even grown. He turned the pages and flicked through some photos of her with friends, and even a few with him, way before they became an item, he closed the book and as he went to place it onto the book self some photos fell out, he bent down to pick them up and as he straightened to his full height he glanced over them. He sighed to himself before he slammed the photo album down and moved out of the room and down the stairs. He grabbed for his coat and she appeared in the door way "Are you going out?" she asked and moved towards him "We are nearly done in here..." he interupted "Dont hurry on my account.. Id say you got a lot to catch up on" she smiled slightly "What?". He held the photo up for her to look at and she sighed as she stared at the photo of her and Leon laying in bed together, her cuddled up in his arms "This.." he passed it to her "Looks a little more than a meaningless one night stand Stevie..." he moved a bit closer "I forgave you for lying once.. but now we are done.. I want you out" he moved out the front door and slammed it shut.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello, sorry that I havent updated my stories in a while, but I have a lot of ideas where I am going now with most of my unfinished stories, so watch this space. Thanks for the reviews. Jodie xx**

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Chapter Seven

Stevie had given up the amount of times she had phoned Smithy and she had figured he was definatly not going to answer the phone to her, she had left message after message which he had ignored. She sighed as she layed Charlie down in his cot in the bedroom which was set to be his before making her way down stairs and into the living room. She had four missed calls all from Leon, this wasnt fair, all she wanted was Smithy and he was ignoring her. Hearing the front door bang she shot to her feet and out into the hall "Smithy..." she smiled as he stared at her "Im so glad you have come back... Charlie is sleeping.. we can talk". He shook his head "I have nothing at all to say to you". She smiled "I love you". He headed up the stairs "You dont know the meaning of the word Stevie". She chased after him "Please... I dont want us to argue.. you have done so much for me Smithy" she grabbed his arm and he turned back to her "Yeah.. and that is exactly the point Stevie.. I have done a lot for you... cause you had no one else to do it.. you have completly used me... without the fact I am madly in love with you.. you have spent six months letting me play Dad to Charlie when you knew there was every chance Leon would come back.. and to top it off.. when I forgave you for that.. which believe me took some doing.. you then lied to me about it being a one night stand.. you have made me look like a fool". She shook her head "Its not like that Smithy". He turned away and she grabbed his hand, he flew back round to face her and before she had a chance to speak he had cut her off "It is exactly like that Stevie, you use people.. you're good at that... what was it between you and Leon then just sex?" he asked and she didnt know what was the best answer, to tell him the truth that is was just a fling and risk him thinking of her as a tart, that Leon developed feelings for her that she just didnt return and that she was infact the reason he left. "Yes.." she sighed "No.. I dont no Smithy.. I didnt want a relationship.. I have never wanted a relationship.. it was ment to be sex and it went to far" he nodded "So you dont want a relationship?". She sighed "No I do now.. I want to be with you". He moved back towards the stairs "Yeah cause you are a useless mother and you need someone to do it for you..." as soon as the words left his mouth he regrettted them, especially as the hurt covered her face "I might not of been the best Mum since I had Charlie but I have tried... really tried to make things work.. to be the best I could be" she turned and headed into the bedroom and he sighed before making his way back down the stairs and out the front door.

A few days passed and Smithy was ignoring her calls and hadnt turned up at work, all she had been told was he had swapped his shifts. She had been shopping with a friend and had just returned home to find his car outside, she grinned as she unstrapped Charlie from his car seat and headed up to the house. She pulled her keys out and tried the lock, when the key wouldnt fit she lifted the keys and glanced at the key before trying once again, when it still wouldnt fit, she glanced round before banging her fist againt the door, whe no answer came she sighed before pulling her mobile out and trying Smithys mobile, as it rang for a second time the door opened. "Why wont my key work?" she asked staring at him, God he looked gorgeous, why did he always look so good. "Because I have changed the locks.." she interupted "What? you cant do that Smithy.." he cut in "This is my house Stevie..." she cut in "What about Charlie?" she stressed and he glanced at the young boy in her arms "Im happy for him to stay.." she felt a laugh catch in her throat "You want me to give you my son..." he smiled "There you go again... your son.. he will always be your son Stevie.." she interupted "Well you are the one making him homeless... what sort of Dad would do that". He shrugged his shoulder "Im not his Dad... go and tell your sob story to Leon.." he reached round the door and grabbed a bag "This should keep you going until tomorrow... you can get the rest of your stuff then".

Stevie spent the first couple of nights with a friend before renting a small bedsit, it was in a rough block and she spent night after night cradling her son to sleep as she listened to her neighbours having domestics and smashing the place up. The weeks that followed Leon told Stevie he wasnt cut out to be a Dad and that he didnt want to see Charlie anymore, she had come close to hitting him after all it was because of him that Smithy had finished with her. Smithy on the other hand was being amazing as usual, Charlie had gine to stay with him for the odd night and she knew she could never stop them seeing each other there was too much love between them. A few weeks had passed and Stevie was settling into her life, even though she was hating every minute of it. She had arranged to meet Smithy in the park so he could look after Charlie and when she arrived she noticed him instantly playing football with some of the Sunhill men. She made her way over and seeing Jo sitting with a young blonde she didnt reconigse she walked towards them. "Hi" she smiled before resting down on the grass and glancing at the men. "Stevie's the one to ask... she has made her way through most of uniform" Stevie glanced at Jo as she spoke "I dont think that is true.. why?" she asked and Jo gestured to the blonde "Sarah just wondered". Stevie unclipped her son and sat him onto the grass. "So put her out of her misery... who is the best in bed?". Stevie felt her cheeks redden and she shook her head "I cant answer that". Sarah smiled "Im not really interested.. I just want to get to know them a bit better..." Jo cut in "Sarah is your new maternty cover". Stevie smiled as she held her hand out "Oh right.. what happened..." Jo cut in "It is a very long story... anyway she has her eye on..." the three women went quiet as Smithy lent down infront of Charlie "Hey monkey... you being a good boy for Mummy?" he grinned as he pulled her son to his feet holding his hands "You wanna come and play ball?" he smiled and she couldnt help but eye his muscles, in only a tight black vest he looked so good. She watched him disapear and she turned back to the two women "So is he worth it?" Jo smiled "Cause Sarah is dying to know" she laughed. She nodded "He is quite nice". Stevie glanced between the two giggling women and rose to her feet "Smithy deserves better than the way you are talking about him... he is a wonderfull man". She walked towards the men and smiled as Smithy jogged over with Charlie in his arms "Where you going?". Stevie gestured towards the park "To put Charlie on the swings". She took the young boy and Smithy smiled "Is everything ok?". She glared at the women "You know she fancies you..." she was interupted by the voice of Callum Stone behind her "You wanna play Stevie... you'll have to be skins though.." and she smirked "In your dreams Sergeant Stone" as he walked off she turned back to Smithy who was putting Charlie in his buggy "She has made it known that she is interested but at the moment... Im not interested.. but Im a single man Stevie... I will do what I want.. we are both free to flirt with who we want, you just proved that.." he turned back towards the men and smiled "I will be over in a minute to get him".

She had been pushing him on the swings for about ten minutes when Smithy appeared by her side "He ready?" he asked and she nodded "Yeah.. what time shall I pick him up?". He smiled "Seven ok?". She nodded before lifting Charlie from the swing and lifting him into his pram "Mummy loves you little man... you be a good boy" she placed a kiss to his forehead before risng to her feet "Smithy.." she glanced over at the men still playing football and sighed "I know you can do what you want... I just think you can do better.." he sighed "Stevie.. I cant do this.. I just want to spend time with Charlie". She nodded and he turned away "I love you" she smiled and he turned back to her, and suddenley feeling the rejection she smiled "Im talking to Charlie". He nodded "Ok.. see you later Stevie". She spent the time away from her son doing a little housework, trying to make it a little more homely for her son. She had put up a mobile above the tiny bed in the corner of the room she shared with her son, before cooking herself some food and heading out the door and to Smithys, she had no idea where the time had gone.

She knocked on the door and waited for him to pull it open. "Hey, yo.." she began before he interupted "Quick.." he grinned as he ushered her inside and into the living room "Look.. he is walking.." she covered her mouth as her young son stumbled accross the room. "Oh my gosh" she grinned as she walked over to him "Look at my clever little boy eh?" she lifted him into her arms and kissed his cheek "I love you so much little man". She smiled at Smithy as he fiddled on his phone "Look I filmed him.." she glanced at the screen and watched her son on the screen, taking a few steps before falling. "I cant believe he is walking... he is only ten months old". He nodded "I know... but he is clever.." he kissed the young boys head and smiled "I will see you soon little man" he smiled as he gathered Charlies things together. The young boy started screaming and wiggling in her arms "Hey.. oi Charlie.. stop it" she stressed. Smithy took the young boy and smiled "Whats up?" he instantly stopped and Stevie sighed as she flumped down onto the sofa "He doesnt want to come... he hates my bedsit.." Smithy sighed "Stevie he is only young.. Im sure he is.." she cut in "He screams the whole time we are there.." Smithy rested down next to her letting Charlie stand on the floor "Listen I will keep him for another hour.. you go home.. have a bath relax and I will drop him off in a bit?". Stevie smiled "You sure?". He nodded "Yeah go on".

When she had returned home she could hear the music from the flat above before she had even gone through the communal front door and as she headed inside she sighed as her front door came into sight, hanging from the hinges. She glanced round at her now bare flat and ran into the bedroom, seeing the mobile she had brought smashed to the floor she let out a whimpear before walking out and over to her sofa and almost falling down onto it. She must of been sitting there a while because before she knew it Smithy was stood in the door way "What happened?" he asked and she shrugged her shoulder "Someone had nicked all my stuff" she noticed Charlie was sleeping in his carseat and she smiled "Take him.. I cant bring him up here.. I cant offer him a life.. Im a crap Mum Smithy.. I have nothing to offer him" tears streamed down his face. Smithy smiled "You cant stay here... you aint got a front door". She shrugged her shoulder "I have no where else to go.." he nodded "Come and stay with me... just for a week or so.. until you get back on your feet". She smiled "Are you sure.. I mean.. I.." he nodded "Im one hundred percent sure Stevie.. come on.. you cant stay here any longer".

Arriving back at his house he headed upstairs and put Charlie to bed. She rested down onto the sofa and smiled to herself, maybe this was a step forward the fact he had invited her back. She had been gone a few months and she was sure he must of forgiven her by now. "I thought you might want a cuppa" he smiled as he headed in the door placing the drink infront of her, she jumped before grinning up at him "Thanks Smithy". He nodded as he took a sip of his own drink "You will work things out ya know... it will all make sense one day". She laughed "Yeah.. right.." he smiled "Listen.. I have set up a blow up bed on Charlies bedroom floor.. that ok for you?". She smiled as she placed her cup to the coffee table "I would rather.." she lent up and into his lips, he kissed her for a brief second before withdrawing "No Stevie.. thats not what I want.." she smiled "I thought... you asked me to come back?". He smiled "No.. I asked you to stay until you get on your feet... because of Charlie" she rose to her feet "Im sorry" she headed out into the hall and up the stairs, she stopped outside Charlies bedroom door and stared in at her young son. "Stevie Im sorry if I led you on.." she glanced over her shoulder at him and wiped the tears from her eyes "I shouldnt of.." she turned to him "I love you" he glanced down "Please dont.. dont make this awkward". He headed into the bedroom and she turned back to her son and walked over, resting down next to his cotbed she held his hand as he lay asleep. "Im sorry baby... Mummy cant do this... you are much better off without me baby.." she lent into the cot and placed a gentle kiss to his head "I love you". She moved out into the hall and down the stairs and into the kitchen, she moved to his notice board and lifted the pen "Im sorry. I cant do it Smithy" she wrote before heading out the front door. As she glanced back up at the house she sighed as her tears fell freely before she climbed into her car. She had bailed. Ran out on her son and she knew now there was no turning back she was running from the only people she really loved.


	8. Chapter 8

**Ok, due to popular demand I have updated this story once again when I should really try and work on some of my others. Thank you for all the reviews and the messages regarding this story. This will most probably be my last update until after Christmas I may squeeze in one more of a different story but if not Merry Christmas to all my readers. Anyway hope you enjoy, thanks. Jodie. xxxx**

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Chapter Eight

Seven weeks had past and Stevie had settled into her new life, she had rented a nice little one bedroom flat on the sea front in Brighton, above a little coffee shop she had got herself a job in. She missed Charlie and Smithy with every breath she took and spent her evenings alone, crying herself to sleep but she knew she had done the right thing, she had to move on and let Charlie have a chance at a good life and Smithy was just the person to supply that chance, he was a wonderfull man. She had thought many times about ringing and just making sure Charlie was ok, that Smithy was happy but she just couldnt find the courage to pick up the phone. It was a rainy morning in November as she trailed round the shops, stopping in any that sold clothes and buying herself things to cheer herself up, not that it did much good. But she had come out for one thing, she needed to buy her son a birthday card, knowing it was only just over a week until his birthday and she wasnt going to be there was horrible but she wanted to send him something. She had no idea what he liked, what toys he had or would play with, so she thought best if she just sent a nice card with some money in it. She started off by looking for a Birthday card with Son on it but with the tears rising rapidly and the lump forming in her throat she moved away and too the cards with a huge number One on them. How could she send him a card with Son on it, what kind of mother had she been, running out on her son when he wasnt even a year old, while he slept soundly in his bed not knowing if she would ever see him again. She was a horrible and evil person and she knew it. She picked a card that read to a special little boy on your first birthday and headed back out of the shop.

She had written in the card, deciding it best to sign it from Stevie rather than Mummy, just incase Smithy had moved on and someone else was bringing up Charlie, someone else was playing Mum to him. She had put nearly a months wages in the card and placed it onto the table infront of her, she stood up and headed over towards the TV, fiddling in the unit underneath it she pulled out some paper before going and resting down once again at the coffee table. She sighed, picking up her mobile she glanced over the photo on her screensaver, although she had changed her number she had been sure to send all her photos over first. The photo was of Smithy cradling Charlie when he was about eight weeks old, it had been her favourite photo of them both and although she had more upto date ones this reminded her of a time when her and Smithy were happier together.

_Dear Dale_

_I am sure I am the last person you would want to hear from but I couldnt let Charlie's birthday go by without writing this. I hope you are ok and Charlie is being a good boy for you. I dont really know where to start, I guess an appoloyge would be a good start and I cant begin to imagaine what you must think of me. What everyone must think of me, but I had to do the right thing, by you and Charlie and this was the right thing. Charlie deserves the best and I know I am not someone who can give him that. I want you to know I am safe and Im sorry I havent been in touch sooner but I needed to get myself settled. I hope you and Charlie are both doing well and that he has forgotten me, its for the best he does. I dont want you to think for one moment I dont love either you or Charlie because I do, I do with all my heart and I know I have done so much wrong in my life but having Charlie and being with you are the two only good things I did. My life is just such a mess, I am a mess it is not fair that I inflict that on you and Charlie you both deserve so much better. Anyway I hope you both have the most amazing time for Charlies birthday._

_Take care. I love you both_

_Stevie xxx_

Tears poured down her face as she pushed the letter into the envelope and sealed it. She headed out and to the post office to get it in the post, she had decided it best to send it recoreded delievery to make sure it arrived. After she had sent it she tried her hardest to push Smithy and Charlie to the back of her mind as she headed to work, the rain was pouring and she just wanted to get her shift over so she could snuggle up in bed and remember how her life used to be. The afternoon was slow and she wasnt concentrating, her life was such a mess and it was all her fault, her thoughts were stopped midway though. Seeing the woman walk into the cafe she ducked into the kitchen, her dark locks still framed her face and she looked slightly older than the last time she had seen her. "What are you doing?" her boss asked from behind where she stood. "I.. Im sorry.. Im not feeling great.." she all but whispeared, taking another quick glance as the woman walked from the cafe, had she seen her? Stevie just couldnt be sure and she couldnt risk Smithy finding her. "Then go home Stevie, you have been close to useless any way.. just make sure you come back tomorrow fighting fit.. I cant have you bailing on me" she cut in "Thank you" before rushing from the cafe and after her. She followed her down a few lanes before watching her cross into a pub, typical. She walked in and eyed her, already sat alone with a brandy in hand. Stevie made her way to the bar and got herself coke, it was only 3.30 after all before making her way to the table. "Gina..." she smiled and the lady glanced up, her face angered "Still alive then" she stated before gesturing to the chair the otherside of the table "Sit down". She sunk down oppisite her and smiled "How are you?". Gina glared at her "I think we have other more important things to discuss...". Stevie sighed as she took a sip of her drink "You have spoke to Smithy..". Gina nodded "He is worried sick about you... after everything he has done for you.. this is how you repay him?". Stevie sighed "It wasnt ment to be like this... I thought Charlie would be better off with Smithy..." Gina cut in "Yeah he would... but Smithy is on the verge of losing him thanks to you... Leon has put in for full custody... he wants to take Charlie to Ireland... Smithy will never see him again..". Stevie shook her head "No.. he is ment to be with Smithy.. I left him with Smithy.." Gina rose to her feet and Stevie suddenley felt nervous as the woman towered over her slightly "I never liked you.. Im sure you knew that... but I always respected that you were important to Smithy and I knew there must be something good about you but someone who runs out on their own child... has no good in them" Stevie felt tears rise in her eyes "Are you going to tell Smithy you have seen me?" Stevie asked and Gina shook her head "No.. he deserves better than you.. if I tell him he will come running".

"Five days little man" Smithy grinned as he lifted Charlie from his high chair "Five days and you are going to be a whole year old..." Smithy put him to the floor and passed him his juice cup and watched as he walked into the living room. The past year had changed so much, he had no idea what had happened? How Stevie had walked out on him and Charlie, to him it was unimaginable. Hearing the door bang he smiled as the soft voice called "Smithy..." he heard her talk to Charlie for a few moments before she appeared in the kitchen door way. "Ok?" she asked not waiting for a reply "Sorry Im a bit late.. here.." she held his letters to him "I had to sign for one of those..". Smithy smiled at her taking them and dropping them onto the table "I'll open them later... I need to get off". He rose to his feet and moved to the door "I might be a little late home tonight Nat..". The dark haired woman nodded "Its fine take your time". He glanced over the letters before heading to the door. "Charlie... Daddy has to go now.. you gunna be ok with Nat?". He lifted the boy into his arms and smiled "I love you" before passing him to the woman behind him "See you tonight Nat".

"Gov" Callum smiled as he walked into the briefing room and he returned the smile slightly "Bad morning?" he asked glancing at his watch, knowing Smithys shift was supposed to start two hours ago. "No.. not really.. Natalie was late getting to me". Callum nodded "Charlie excited about his birthday?" he asked and Smithy smiled "He is a bit young..." he paused as he sunk onto a desk "I think he would be if Stevie was here..." Callum cut in "Yeah well she's not". Smithy glared at him "Thanks.. you are real compasionate Stone". Callum shrugged his shoulders "What do you want me to say... she walked out leaving you to raise her son..." the voice behind interupted "He is my son". Smithy turned to face him "Not now Leon" he moved past the man and towards the door and Leon grabbed his arm "I want him for his birthday..." Smithy shook his head "You got no chance... you can come and see him.." Leon cut in "He is my son..." Smithy interupted "When it suits... he doesnt even know you... he calls me Dad". Leon nodded "I want my son". Smithy smiled "If it wasnt for you... Charlie would still have his mother round so why dont you back off and give him a chance..". Callum moved between the two men as Leon glared at Smithy "Come on.. lets go grab a coffee Smithy..." Callum spoke. Leon cut in "You know she only went with you cause she didnt want to be on her own..." Smithy shook his head "Thats bullshit and you know it". Leon smiled "She didnt want you... she had never wanted you before... why do you think it changed when she fell pregnant... cause she didnt want to be a tramp.. but that is exactly what she is... a dirty little tramp.. and when I get my son I will make sure he knows it". Smithy lunged for him and feeling Callum grab him and pull him back he shouted "You talk about her like that again.. and I swear I will kill you". Callum pushed him from the room and smiled "Calm down... Smithy.. dont rise to him... he is being transferred in two weeks... just be the bigger man until then..". He glared at him "He is a fucking arsehole.. he didnt give two shits about Charlie.." Callum nodded "I know.. and thats why you will get custody... you are the closest thing to family that little boy knows..." Smithy interupted "Yeah.. Im what he knows but Im not his Dad... I dont stand a chance..." he began to walk away and Callum called "Where are you going?" Smithy turned back to him "Home.. to spend what time I have left with my son".

He smiled as Natalie came rushing from the living room "Oh its you... I thought you were going to be late?" she asked as she glanced at her watch "You have only been gone an hour or so". Smithy nodded "I wanted to spend some time with Charlie.. where is he?". She gestured to the stairs "I have just put him down for his nap..." Smithy nodded "You can get off... if you want". She smiled "You want some company?". He sighed "Im not gunna be great company Nat... you can go". She grinned "Dont be daft.. go and sit down I will make you a cuppa and some lunch". He moved into the living room and sunk down onto the sofa, he sighed as he flicked the TV on, trying to keep his mind from Leon. Noticing his letters in a neat pile on the table he lent foward and grabbed them, the first couple were bills, one was about selling his house but it was the forth that caught his attention he reconigsed the hand writing, and despite it being addressed to Charlie he ripped it open, running his eyes over the card, he opened it and grabbed the money as it slid out. Seeing the note he dropped the card to the table and read over the note. "Nat... Natalie..." he shouted as he walked through to the kitchen with the letter in hand "This... you had to sign for it?" he asked and she nodded "It came recorded delievery.." he interupted "Then I can trace it... I have to go out.. I wont be long" he called back to her, rushing into the living room and grabbing the envelope and his coat before out the front door.

Stevie had spent her shift sitting in the far corner of the cafe, going through the reciepts, trying to make the sense of the books. He moved to the counter and glanced over, she still looked so beautiful, he eyed her body as she sat completly wrapped up in what she was doing. After heading to his local post office he had found out where the letter had been sent from, he had asked Natalie to look after Charlie and come straight down to the post office in Brighton with a photo of the small blonde, who the woman in the post office reconigsed instanty and directed him to the cafe and here he was staring at her, he had ordered a coffee and made his way towards her, however much he wanted to hate her, he just couldnt he still loved her, with all his heart. He stood at the table and moved the chair and she glanced up "I think you have got some explaining to do" he spoke as he rested down oppisite her.

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**Thank you very much to all my readers and I hope you all have a great xmas. Jodie xxx**


	9. Chapter 9

**Ok, so to make up for my lack of updates over Christmas here is my second of the day. I hope you all enjoy and please leave me a review. Thank you for all the continued support of this story once again xxx**

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Chapter Nine

"So you gunna speak?" he asked as he sat down into the chair oppisite her "Or sit there with your mouth wide open?". She was lost for words, she didnt have anything at all, this was more than awkward he took a sip of his drink, he smiled "Well start talking Stevie.." he all but shouted and she noticed a few people glance over "Do you not reckon you owe Charlie at least an explanation... even if you aint gunna tell him yourself?". She smiled "Not here.." he shook his head "Im going no where.. I aint giving you the chance to run out again". She lent foward her voice hushed "Please.. this isnt fair..." he cut in "Dont talk to me about fair... I had to explain to a little boy who wernt even a year old why his selfish mother had walked out on him...". She shook her head, watching the young girls behind the counter eye her suspiously, this would take some explaining. "Listen.. I cant do this here Smithy... this job is all I have.." he nodded, he knew she didnt deserve it but he felt sorry for her "Ok.. so where?". She smiled "I live in the flat upstairs..." she dug into her jeans pocket and pulled her keys out "Go and wait there... my shift finsihes in an hour... I will be up then.. and we can talk.. I can explain". He nodded "Fine" before heading to the door. She sighed, she had no idea what she would do now. He must really hate her. How on earth was she going to sit upstairs talking to him. She could run, disapear and never return, leave her new life behind and keep on running until she knew he would never find her. She sat in the seat for the rest of her shift, trying to decide the best thing, maybe she did owe him an explanation but then is telling him she was frightened and a crap mum really going to cut it. The hour had flown past and as she headed out of the small cafe she stared up at her flat, could she really do this. Deep down she knew whatever she said it would make things worse, so turning away she began to walk in the oppisite direction "Going somewhere?" his voice startled her and she turned back to him as he stood on the stairs that led up to the front door "I knew you would do this... that you would run.." she stared at him as he came down the stairs "You claim to love me and Charlie.. you are a joke.. you cant even face me" he moved to her grabbing her chin and forcing her eyes to meet his, which she quickly diverted "You cant even look me in the eye... well you know what.." he took her hand and forced the keys into her hand "Dont bother running.. but I can tell you now... Charlie will grow up knowing exactly what you are... a selfish little bitch who didnt give a flying fuck about him". She pulled from him "Thats not fair... I love Charlie more than I have ever loved anyone.. he is all I think about..". Smithy smiled "Really... cause it seems to me he is the last thing you think about". She felt the words rise in her throat and she hadnt ment to shout but it just came out "You have no fucking idea how I feel... and if you had given me the chance to explain eveything all them months ago.. this would never of happened.." he glared at her "I cant believe you are trying to turn this back on me... make this out to be my fault... you walked out on your son.. what sort of person does that?" she glanced round, noticing people staring as they passed "Lets go upstairs Smithy" she stated before heading up the stone steps to her flat.

He headed straight into her living room, making himself at home instantly, but then he had spent the past hour there, she made her way into the kitchen, mumbing to him about making a cup of coffee. In the kitchen she had flicked the kettle on and was pacing back and forth "I dont want a drink..." he spoke as he appeared in the door way "I just want an explanation and then Im gone". She sighed, flicking the kettle off "How is Charlie?" she asked and he shook his head "Why the hell should I tell you?" she smiled "He is my son Smithy". He laughed "Yeah right... he is fine.. he hasnt forgotten you... I havent let him... not until I knew why.." she smiled "Its not that simple... I left because I wanted him to have the best..." he cut in "Thats bullshit Stevie... you dont give up on anything.. you left cause you couldnt be bothered.." she shook her head "No.. I didnt... thats not fair.." she sighed "I knew I couldnt trust Gina". He stared at her, a confused expression, tracing his face "What has Gina got to do with it?". She smiled "Dont try and protect her... how else did you find me?". He laughed, it made her feel so uneasy "I traced your letter... are you telling me.. she had known where you are... all this time?". Stevie shook her head "No.." he cut in "This is nothing to do with her anyway..." he moved towards her, his body towering over hers "Tell me why you left?" he shouted and she felt fear in her body as she backed away, bumping into the counter behind her, he grabbed her "You owe Charlie at least that Stevie". She felt the tears run down her cheeks "You.. I left because if you.." he stepped back from her and she couldnt help but notice how hurt he looked by her words "You knocked me back.. I was failing Charlie.. he wanted you.. you had everything and all I had was a grotty little bedsit and people who hated me.. thought I was a slut..." he interupted "I never.. ever called you a slut.." she shrugged her shoulders "You didnt have too.. I saw it every time you looked at me..." he smiled slightly "No.. I never thought of you like that.. I loved you". She smiled slightly "You didnt want me.. you had stopped loving me..". He shook his head "No.. I was angry and you were hurting me but... I always loved you Stevie..". She smiled "So you love me?" she asked and he shrugged his shoulders "Im not here because of me... Im here because you need to put things right with Charlie". She sighed "I cant... I cant just come back and try and pretend this never happened..". He sighed "Do you care about Charlie?" he asked and she turned back to the kettle flicking it on "Do you want a coffee or not?" she asked and he grabbed her arm spinning her to face him "Do you care about anyone but yourself?" he shouted, pushing the kettle and the two cups to the floor. She pulled from him and ran from the room.

He stood in the door way to her bedroom and smiled "I didnt mean to scare you.." he moved inside to her and rested down next to her "I am still so angry with you.." she glanced up at him and she wiped the tears from her eyes "But I dont want to scare you Stevie.. I just want to try and understand how on earth you walked out on your own son?". She smiled "I love him.. I know you dont believe it.. but I do.." she pasued wiping her eyes once again "I had tried so hard to make things perfect for you and Charlie.. to do everything right.. then when my bedsit got broken into I knew how much I had failed him.. I couldnt even protect him.." he cut in "That wasnt your fault". She smiled "I wanted him to have the best start.. Leon was putting pressure on me about you.. I just thought if I left Charlie would be better with you and Leon would back off.. you are an amazing father.. and I wanted you.. so much.. so I tried it on with you and I felt humiliated when you knocked me back.. like I had screwed something else up in my life" he sighed "I wanted you to prove you loved me... to fight a bit for me.. not just turn up.. shag me and things just go back to the way they were... I loved you so much and you had broken my heart". She smiled as she placed her hand gently to the side of his face "I never ment to hurt you Smithy... what happened with me and Leon" he cut in "I dont want to know". She sighed "Thats the problem.. thats why we couldnt get through it... cause you never wanted to know". He sighed "Ok.. fine.. he has taken great pleasure in telling me.. you might as well feel in all the gorey little details". She shook her head "It was never like that..." she took hold of his hand "Leon ment nothing to me.. I was lonely.. and I needed someone..." he cut in "So why him... why not me?" he asked and she sighed "Because you always ment more.. I couldnt have a meaningless fling.." she shook her head as he stared at you "Not with you". He sighed "So if you love me... why didnt you tell me you had a fling with Leon.. if you had been honest" she placed her head into her hands and sighed "I wanted us to stand a chance.. you me and our little boy... thats all I wanted.. but I screwed it all up from the start..." she kept her face hidden as she started to sob and feeling him wrap his arm round her shoulders she tried to shrug his grip but he pulled her into his chest as she cried "I have thought about nothing.." she sobbed "Other than.. how much I hurt you and how horrible I am for walking out.. on Charlie what kind of person am I?" she cried. He placed his hand under her chin, lifting her eyes to his "You are an amazing person Stevie.. not many people can rebuild their life from scratch.. after every thing". She sighed "I dont know how to make things better.." her words were brought to a stop as his lips gently brushed hers, the gesture had come as quite a surprise and as he withdrew he smiled "Im sorry.. its been a long time.." he glanced down "And I always found it hard to resist you" she let out a slight smile before leaning into his lips, this time letting passion take over, his hand shot into her hair pulling her close into him as he fell back onto the bed.

She felt his strong arms encircle her waist as she stood wearing only her dressing gown, trying to make her kettle work in the kitchen they had only a few hours earlier had been arguing in, she turned to face him and as his body came into sight her breath hitched, his muscles were fuller than she remembered, he had been working out. She placed her hands onto his chest and let out a contented sigh "Well that had certainly made up for the last few months" she grinned and he nodded as his lips dropped onto her neck, her hands wrapped round his as she stretched up and into his body "How much notice do you have to give?" he asked and she pulled from him "What?" she asked and he gestured round "When can you leave.. come home" she smiled "Smithy this is my home.." he cut in "What about me and Charlie?" he asked and she could see he was trying to hide his anger "I love you.. both of you.. but I cant come back.. I need to move foward". He laughed "Charlie is your future.." she cut in "Its not that simple.." he interupted "Well make it that simple... if you dont come back Leon will get custody and take Charlie.." she smiled "Is that what this is about?" she pulled from his arms, her eyes dragging over him as she tightened her dressing gown, suddenley feeling used. "No.. but I dont want to lose Charlie and you can stop it from happening". She shook her head "No.. I think you should go.." he cut in "He is your son.." he shouted as he pulled his shirt that was hanging over his shoulder onto his chest. "Does that mean anything to you?" he finished and she nodded "Of corse it does... but maybe he would be better off with Leon.. at least he has some morals... you slept with me so I would help you". He turned from her "I didnt.." he stated as he stopped in the door way turning back to her "I slept with you because I love you... I will do every thing I can to stop myself losing my little boy.. my son.. because lets be honest I am just about the only person he has ever fucking had... and I love him.. and I will fight with every bone in my body for him.. and you.. you carry on living a lie... cause it makes your life easier... Charlie deserves better than you... and you know what I always thought you were way out of my league but really... you are nothing.. I deserve better". She wiped the tears that ran down her cheeks and he smiled "Have a good life Stevie and I will make sure Charlie has the best... something you clearly couldnt give him and when you are old and alone Im sure you will realise what you gave up". She sunk down the kitchen counter as the front door banged, she loved Smithy and Charlie and to be honest she had no idea why she hadnt jumped at the chance to return and build a life with them both, he had offered her a second chance and she had thrown it back in his face, it was safe to say she was worried that he was only doing it to hang onto Charlie, but she knew he loved her, so eventually them doubts would of left. But here she was alone once again, having lost her son and the man she loved. She remained on the floor sobbing for what seemed like a life time, until she found the courage to move herself into the bed, it made her feel closer to Smithy, that only a little while earlier he had been cuddling her in her bed. She hugged herself into the pillow he had rested on and feeling something sharp she gripped it and pulled it out. It was a photo of Charlie and Smithy, cuddled up on the sofa in Smithys living room, it was recent she guessed, Charlie had grown a lot and looked like a proper little charmer. She placed it down on the bed and seeing the words written on the back she sighed as she picked it back up 'We will always love you', how could she be so quick to judge? She felt awful and she curled up in the bed holding the photo into her body.

It had been a long drive home and by the time he arrived Charlie was fast asleep in bed, he smiled to Natalie "Thank you.. for looking after him.. it has ment a lot.." she smiled "Thats what I am here for..." she paused as she watched him walk into the living room "How'd it go?" she asked and he sighed as he sunk onto the sofa "Im starting to think women are from another planet.." Nat smiled "Thats cause you are a good bloke Smithy.. you let people walk all over you.. do you want me to stick the kettle on?" she asked and he shook his head "No you get off.. Im gunna have an earlier night anyway". She nodded "See you tomorrow Smithy" she headed out the door and he sighed as he grabbed his phone. "How long of you known?" he stressed as the woman answered. "Hello Inspector Smith... nice to talk to you too..." she paused "Known what?" she asked. "Stevie.. when did you find out where she was?" he heard her sigh "Not long.. you can do so much better Smithy.. I did what I thought was best" he cut in "Well that werent your descision to make Gina.. she was my girlfriend and Charlies Mum.. I had a right to know.. I have been worried sick and you didnt even have the decency to let me know she was safe.. you are as bad as her... and here was me thinking I could always rely on you" he hung up and switched his phone off and chucked it to the coffee table. Hearing the soung of Charlie crying from upstairs he climbed to his feet and headed up to find the little boy who was sat in his cot. "Hey little man... what you doing up eh?" he grinned as Charlie held his arms out to him "Dadda.. dadda..". Smithy grinned "Daddy had missed you so much.. Daddy loves you.. and I will always be here.." he cuddled the little boy into his arms "We can always rely on each other.. even if there is no one else.." he sighed as the tears began to run slowly down his cheeks, he kissed Charlies head before moving to the chair in the corner of the room and sinking into it with his son. He had lost the woman he loved and the mother figure he had always known and he knew it wouldnt be long before he would lose the little boy he had always thought of as his own, his life was at rock bottom and all he could do was cling onto Charlie for the short time he had left with him.

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** Please review, they mean so much xxx**


	10. Chapter 10

**Big thank you to the people who take the time to review, it means so much and keeps me writing. I hope you enjoy this chapter and please leave me another review, thanks Jodie. xx**

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Chapter Ten

Stevie stood outside his house staring up, it had been over five months since she had seen the place and her son but here she was, knowing she had no choice but to knock. If the ground was ever going to open up and swallow her now was the perfect time. She felt sick to the stomack, so much so she had to stop three times on the trip up from Brighton. She could see the light on in his living room and she had no idea what she would find once inside, for all she knew Charlie could be gone starting his new life with his real father, Smithy could be inside completly heartbroken. She moved up too the door and rose her hand petrified at the disaster she was about to cause, she banged hard on the front door. She was sure the whole world had stood still as she waited for the door to open. Her mouth fell open as she eyed the woman the other side, with long dark hair and legs that went forever, dark brown eyes and beautiful features, jealousy shot through her body instantly. "I erm.. Im looking for Smithy.." she spoke softly and the woman nodded "One second" she pushed the door closed and Stevie felt tears sting in her eyes as she turned and headed down the stone steps that led to his house "What do you want?" he spoke and she turned back to face him stood in the door way, the beautiful woman just behind him "I wanted to talk". He shook his head "Its a bit late for that Stevie.." he turned to Natalie and smiled "Can you go and check on Charlie" the woman nodded before eyeing Stevie once again and disapearing up the stairs. "Charlie.." Stevie spoke as she walked back up the stairs "He is here.. you still have him?". Smithy nodded "Yeah... he's here.. but you aint seeing him". Stevie smiled "I just want five minutes Smithy.. its important". He nodded "Fine" before stepping aside and pointing to the living room, she could hear the faint sound of Natalie singing to her son upstairs and as she walked into the living room she noticed Charlies toys placed neatly in the corner of the room, photos of Smithy and the young boy, she guessed proffessionaly taken hanging above the fireplace, and it was as she moved to get a better look at them she noticed the birthday card she had sent Charlie on the fireplace, she turned and smiled to Smithy "You kept it.." he interupted "I thought it would be the last one he would get from you..". She smiled "What is he still doing here?" she asked and Smithy stood staring at her and she moved foward towards him "I just.. I thought you would of been to court by now.." he interupted "What.. you hoping he would be gone?" he asked and she shook her head "Of corse not Smithy... I just wondered what happened?". He smiled "Leon dropped the case three days before.. decided he didnt want to be a full time Dad.. he looks after him two mornings a week". She nodded "So you are bringing him up... with her..". Smithy cut in "You have no right.. you walked out on him and left me to it.. you cant just turn up.. wanting him back". She shook her head "Im not here to get him back Smithy" she paused as she stared at him, pure jealousy in her eyes as the woman appeared behind Smithy "It didnt take you long" she spat. Smithy laughed turning to Natalie "Go and get your things together.." the young girl walked from the room once again and he turned back to Stevie "Five months.. five fucking months you have been gone.. I have every right to move on but..." he moved towards her "For the record.. Natalie is Charlies babysitter.. its hard work being a single parent.. especially with my job". Stevie sighed "Im sorry.. Im so sorry.." she paused as Natalie appeared once again in the door way "Im off then Smithy.." he nodded turning and walking from the room with the young girl, leaving Stevie stood alone.

When he returned a few minutes later she had rested down onto the sofa "Dont make yourself comfatable.. say what you have come to say and then get out..". Stevie smiled as she rose to her feet "I havent come to make things difficult.." he cut in "No.. cause it seems just as Im starting to get over you... you fuck with my head again... come storming back into my life... fucking everything up". She smiled "Im not here to mess things up... and you have every right to be angry" he moved towards her "I have every right to be angry.. are you fucking kidding me Stevie.. you walked out on that little boy.." he pointed to the photos hanging on the wall "If it werent for me.. he would of ended up in care... and now you come waltzing back like nothing happened..." she shook her head "Its not like that.." he shook his head "No.. damn right it aint.. get out". Stevie shook her head as he grabbed her wrist and pulled her to the front door "Smithy.. get off me.." she shouted as he pulled the front door open, she forced herself from him, backing into the hall "You cant just chuck me out.." she paused as a soft voice called from the top of the stairs "Daddy" and Smithy turned to face him "Ok baby.. Im just coming.." he moved towards her "I am going up there to put my son back to bed... I want you gone by the time I get back". Stevie watched as he walked up the stairs, scopping the little blonde haired boy into his arms and moving away, Stevie sighed moving to the open front door and pushed it closed before walking back into the living room, she was going nowhere, not yet anyway. She moved over to the fireplace and glanced over her card, picking up a small wad of photos and running her eyes over her sons first birthday. She noticed that lots of the station where in them, including Leon. The young girl from earlier, Smithy in a couple but it was her son, her little boy she couldnt quite keep her eyes off. She had never not loved him, she had always loved him and she always would but Smithy wasnt going to let her any where near him now and who could blame him.

"I told you to go" he spoke from the door way "I havent said my piece yet" she smiled softly and he glared at her "And what makes you think for one second I want to hear it?". She sighed "Smithy I know you are angry.. and I dont blame you for that.. you have every right to hate me.. I hate myself.. but.." she paused "I have missed you... and Charlie..". He shook his head "I dont want to hear it Stevie... now I have asked you once.. dont make me tell you again.." he stepped aside and she smiled "Im not going anywhere Smithy.. I need to talk.." he shook his head moving towards her, snatching the photos from her fingers "You have nothing to say I want to hear" he pulled on her wrist once again. "Smithy.. get off me... your hurting me" he turned and pushed her against the wall behind her "Hurt.. you have no fucking idea Stevie.. you hurt me everytime you lied to me..." he moved towards her and fear shot through her body "You hurt me the day you walked out on your son.. and then after everything I was a complete fool and was gunna give you another chance and you stamped all over my heart again... so dont you dare talk to me about hurt... me holding your wrist a little tight is nothing compared to what you have put me and Charlie through in the last year". She shook her head "Im not here to cause trouble.. please.. let me explain". He shook his head as he moved to the front door and pulled it open "You gunna walk through it or you need me to chuck you out" he stressed and as she stood still on the spot he moved over and grabbed her arms "Smithy.. no.. Smithy IM PREGNANT". He dropped his grip on her arm once again and he shook his head "I dont care.. just get out" she glared at him "Its yours... its your baby Smithy". He stumbled back and rested down onto the stairs "Im having your baby Smithy" she smiled as she moved over and sunk down onto her knees infront of him "I dont know what to do" he shook his head "Get rid of it" her mouth dropped open and she placed her hand to his "You cant be serious Smithy". He nodded "I am... you have one child you dont want... its not fair to bring another one into the world.." she interupted "Well this one is yours". He pushed her aside as he rose to his feet "Charlie is mine Stevie... he might not be by blood but I couldnt love him any more... he is my son and the only person who ever had an issuee with me not being his real Dad was you". She shook her head "Thats not true.. and Im sorry I ever made you feel like that..." she paused as she headed to the front door "If you want me to get rid of the baby... thats what Im gunna do.. cause I know I cant do this on my own.. Im not strong enough.. I couldnt do it with Charlie... but I came here to give you the chance.. to have a baby of your own... not to try and ruin what you have with Charlie but because this is your baby". He watched as she headed out the front door and her pull it shut after herself. He glanced up the stairs thinking of his young boy fast asleep before pulling the front door open, she was opening her car door and he watched her as he stood on the top step "You know its not fair" he called and she turned back to face him "Whats that?" she asked as she pushed her car door shut and made her way towards him slightly "You.. you arent fair.." he moved down the steps to where she stood "However hard I try to move on... to get myself over you and my life back on track... your still there..." she interupted "Im going.. you never have to see me again.." she glanced up at the house, tears catching in her eyes "Neither of you" she turned and began to walk away and he smiled "Thats the problem... I want to see you.. I dont want you to not be a part of my life.." she spun back to face him "You've changed your tune" she spoke softly "Im angry Stevie... and I have every right to be and I want to hate you... I want to hate you so much that I hate myself that I cant... I hate myself for still being madly in love with you Stevie".

She had been sat on his sofa about five minutes when he returned with two steaming mugs, he placed them onto the coffee table infront of her before resting down next to her "Milk one sugar yeah?" she nodded as she lifted the tea to her lips and took a sip "Thanks Smithy". He took a gulp of his drink and sighed "We cant just get back to how things were Stevie.. its gunna take time.. Charlie isnt going to just accept you.. that you are his Mum". She nodded "I know.. I wasnt even expecting this much.. I deserve for you to chuck me out on the street". He sighed "Is it definatly mine... one hundred percent?". She nodded "There hasnt been anybody else... I dont want anyone else.. I love you Smithy and I always have.." he cut "If you loved me.. why didnt you come back with me?" he asked, anger spiking his voice once again "Because I was afraid Smithy.. that I would fuck it all up again.. that I would prove everyone right.. that I was nothing more than a little tart". He sighed "What did it matter... why do you care what anybody else thought?" he asked "I told you I loved you... that I wanted you". She nodded "I thought you were doing it because of Charlie... I know how much he means to you... and that you would do anything to stop yourself loosing him... I thought I was your back up plan". He shook his head "I didnt use you Stevie.. I slept with you in Brighton because I love you". She smiled "I love you too.." he cut in "But this dont just go away... you have to work.. face everybody... confront all your demons". She smiled "Ok.. I will do anything". He nodded "You can sleep in my bed... I will put a blow up bed on Charlies bedroom floor... goodnight". She watched him rise to his feet and she smiled "Thats it?" she asked and he nodded "Thats it... I have shirts in my cupboards.. get one to sleep in". She watched him walk up from the room and she sighed before finishing her drink and taking them through to the kitchen, she stared around, nothing much had changed and she couldnt help but feel like she was home, maybe her and Smithy would stand a chance if they worked hard at it.

Once upstairs she noticed Charlies bedroom door open and she moved over and stood in the doorway, Smithy was no where in sight and she couldnt help but smile as she stared at her son, the room only lit by the dim lamp in the corner but he looked so happy as he slept soundly. She noticed the bed on the floor and smiled at the thought of being so close to Smithy, she had really missed him "Its gunna take a lot of work.." his voice startled her and she spun round to see him stood behind her in only a loose pair of black jogging bottoms, holding a football shirt in his hand "Here you can wear this" he held it out to her and she smiled "Thanks..." she glanced up into his eyes "Im not stupid Smithy... I know its not gunna happen over night.. it will take a lot of work.." he interupted "And I dont think we can just storm straight in with you being his Mum.. you need to build up some sort of relationship" she nodded "Ok.. I accept that Smithy". He nodded "You can spend some time with him tomorrow afternoon.. maybe we could take him to the park if its not raining.." she grinned "I would love that.." he nodded "Well Leon has him in the morning.. but when he brings him back" he moved into the bedroom and she grabbed his arm, a faint smile tracing her lips as she felt his muscle, when she looked into his face a similar smile was gracing his lips "Thank you Smithy... I know I dont deserve your forgiveness..." he shook his head "No you dont..." he lent down and placed a gentle kiss to her lips "But you cant help who you fall for can you?" he smiled as he moved into the bedroom "Good night Moss".


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you for all the reviews so far. I havent updated this in a while so hope this chapter makes up for that. If you like then please leave me a review. Thanks Jodie xx**

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Chapter Eleven

When she awoke the next morning, she could hear the sound from downstairs and it filled her with fear, that woman was back and despite Smithy telling her she was just Charlies babysitter she couldnt help but feel jealous of the young girl, she was beautiful and had spent the last God knows how long with her family! Stevie knew she had no right to make demands but surely Smithy would have no need for the girl any more. She pushed to her feet and glanced at her pale reflection in the mirror, she ran her hands through her hair and smiled to herself before heading out onto the landing, Charlie was still sleeping soundly in his cot and she was half tempted to go in and wake him, he was after all her son, but deciding it probably wouldnt go down well with Smithy she pulled his top down her legs a little futher before heading down the stairs. She moved towards the door into the kitchen and paused outside it, listening to the two voices inside. "... its not like that" he spoke. "She stayed" the young girl answered suggestivly. "Yeah.. but she's Charlies Mum.." he defended and she cut him off once again "And she walked out on him... leaving you to bring him up Smithy". Stevie heard him sigh "I know.. and Im not about to forgive her for any of it... but if I dont give Charlie the chance to know his mother he will resent me for it when he is older... just trust me..". Stevie pushed the door open and smiled to Smithy "Morning" before glaring at the woman "You are looking after Charlie today?" she asked and Natalie shook her head and she went to speak but Smithy cut her off "No... he spends this morning with Leon... Natalie was passing". The woman nodded "But seen as Im here.. I will pop up and say hello". Stevie smiled "He's still sleeping". Natalie laughed "And if I dont wake him.. he will still be sleeping this time tomorrow..." Stevie glared at her and the woman smiled to Smithy "Is it ok if I go up?". He nodded "Of corse Nat... you know you dont have to ask". Stevie watched the young woman walk away before she turned back to Smithy "I could of woke him". He shook his head "No.." she cut in "How am I ment to build a relationship if you wont let me?" he moved to where she stood in the door way "I told you Stevie... we are doing this my way... and in an hour Leon will be here to pick him up and I dont want you upsetting him before.. so you wait.. go and get dressed unall... Charlie will have to see you and I dont want him thinking you stayed the night". She felt the tears in her eyes watching as he crossed through the house and headed up the stairs.

After her shower and getting dressed she headed back down the stairs, she could hear Charlie laughing in the living room and she paused in the door way smiling at her son sitting on the floor playing with Smithy and Natalie, they looked like a family a proper little family and she wished she could go in and join in but she just couldnt find the courage. She headed into the kitchen and flicked the kettle on. She jumped at the voice behind her instantly "I thought you'd of ran by now.." she sighed turning to face him "Im not going any where.. unless you tell me too". He sighed "Why didnt you come in?" he gestured to the living room and she sighed "Cause I didnt fit Smithy... you have got it perfect.." he cut in "No.. its far from perfect.. I have made the best of a bad situation..." she smiled "And its all my fault.." he nodded "Yeah.. it is Stevie so maybe.. you should get over the self pity and get on with putting things right". He paused as Natalie appeared in the door way "Sorry to interupt but I need to get off Smithy". The Inspector nodded "Ok.. see you tomorrow". The woman nodded and offered a quick Goodbye to Stevie before she left. "Its not that simple..." he interupted "No nothing ever is with you Stevie...but at the end of the day you have a beautiful little boy that unless you make the effort he will grow up not knowing who you are.. and thats without.." he gestured to her slim stomack "The baby.." she sighed "I want to put things right..." hearing the doorbell she smiled "And I will" she continued and he gestured into the hall "You can start by opening the door?". She shook her head "Its Leon" he nodded "So come on.. be a bigger person and start facing the wrong things you did?". Stevie smiled "I.. I cant Smithy... Im not ready to face people". He nodded "Fine" she listened as he moved into the hall and pulled the front door open before she turned back to the boiling kettle and starting to make a cup of coffee.

Ten minutes or so passed and she remained sat at the kitchen table, she was frightened about what Leon would say, she had no doubt people were lining up to call her a bad mother and she just couldnt take it. She jumped as the door swung open and Smithy appeared "You say one thing..." he began as he headed over to the kettle "And you dont really give a damn about anyone but yourself". She shook her head "Thats not fair.." he cut in "Thats the story of your life Stevie... everything is always unfair on you.. everybody else can go to hell" she rose to her feet "I dont have to listen to this... we are ment to be starting again" he watched her walk to the door and he called "Thats it walk out again.. you're good at that eh?". She paused and turned back to face him "How long are you going to treat me like this?" she asked and he shook his head "All the while you act like a child.. Im gunna treat you like one.." he pushed past her and headed to the stairs "Im going for a shower.. if you are still here when I've finished.. we can talk about what we will say to Charlie later". She watched as he made his way up the stairs before she walked into the living room and rested down onto the sofa. She could understand he didnt trust her and that she had brought this all on herself but why did he ask her to stay if he just wanted to make her life hell.

She paused in the bedroom door way, he always had a body to die for and he looked so gorgeous, the water still dripping down his muscles, his hair soaked. He hadnt noticed her staring yet and she had no doubt when he did he would cover his naked body so she had to make the most of the next few seconds until he turned to face her, or looked up in the mirror she was staring at. He spun round, dropping his towel round his waist "Jesus" he stressed and she smiled "I have seen it all before" she offered him a smile and he shook his head "But we aint together any more Stevie" he stated before pulling the towel tighter. "I've still seen you naked.. you dont have to hide.." he cut in "Did you want something?" he asked, his voice slightly more angered. "To have a conversation.. without you making me out to be some form of the devil". He rested down onto the bed "Im still hurting Stevie". She nodded slighlty "I know.. but I need to know where I stand?". He sighed "You want to know if we are going to get back together?". She nodded "I love you.." he cut in "And I love you too but its not that simple.. you broke my heart.." she sighed "I know.." she walked over and sunk down next to him on the bed "You have no idea how much its killing me... I hate that I hurt you Smithy" she placed her hand to is bare leg and he jumped slightly at the touch "But I think we can work.. if we put things right from the start". He rose to his feet and shook his head "So we just pretend it didnt happen then... that you didnt walk out on me and your son... you cant just expect me to forget Stevie.. Im not.." she moved to him and took hold of his hands "No" he shouted "You cant just walk back and expect everything to go back to normal... I really thought you loved me... that you were the one.." she nodded "Am I not?". He shrugged his shoulders "I want you to be.." she cut in "Then let me". She moved into his lips kissing him gently at first before wrapping her arms round his neck, pulling him tight into her body. He pulled back "No.. you cant do this" she glanced down and smiled "Im sorry... I just want my boyfriend back.. my family back". She placed her hand to her stomack "I want to be a family.. all four of us". He sighed as he moved back into her body "Then do it properley... put things right and then... we can stand half a chance". He pulled her into a hug "Im not saying I dont want you or love you... cause I do but I cant just forget... give it time" he gently kissed the top of her head and smiled "Go downstairs while I get dressed... I'll be down in a second".

He had rested down next to her and the two had spent near to an hour holding hands on the sofa, neither had spoken, they had just sat spending time together and she couldnt be happier, she was loving every moment she had him to herself. She felt him squeeze her hand and she smiled up at him as he began to speak "Sorry.. I need to go and get Charlie..." she smiled "Where do you pick him up from?" she asked and he smiled "Leons... I will only be an hour or so". She nodded and watched him rise to his feet "Smithy?" he smiled "Shall I come?". He smiled "I erm... I dont think thats a good idea.." she cut in "Earlier you were all for me facing my demons.." he cut in "Just not now Stevie". She smiled as she rose to her feet "But.." he shook his head "No buts Stevie... we have had a nice morning... please dont ruin it". She sighed as she listened to him as he walked out into the hall and the front door slam shut. Rising to her feet she paced the living room a couple of times, she knew that Smithy was never going to let everything go, maybe it was all just a huge mistake her coming back to him, she had been back a day, one day and he hadnt even let her speak to Chalie yet, God only knows what sort of relationship she woud have with her son and her new baby when she had it. Grabbing her handbag she headed to the door and slammed it shut before walking down the path and climbing into her car and driving away.

Arriving back at his home he knew instantly she had gone, her car had gone and he felt the anger rising in him instantly, he had given her another chance that she really hadnt deserved and she had let him down once again. He lifted Charlie from the car and stormed inside, letting his son into the living room he moved back out and into the hall before walking into the kitchen at the back of the house and trying her mobile, which she didnt answer, no surprises there then. Lifting his phone to his ear he sighed as the young girl answered on the second ring "You were right" he stressed and she sighed down the phone "She's gone?". He hid his face, he couldnt quite contain the shame of her making a fool out of him once again "I cant believe she had done this to me... I really thought she loved me". He listened to the young girl once again "Just forget her... you will meet someone new Smithy... you can do so much better.." he nodded to himself "Dont stop me from wanting her though does it... she is a selfish little tart.. I really thought she would put Charlie first.. I dont know why for one second I thought she would think of anyone but herself... she never has before" rising to his feet he jumped as he saw the small blonde stood in the kitchen door way. "I'll ring you back Nat" he smiled before hanging up and dropping his phone to the table "How long have you been stood there?". She forced a smile to her face "Long enough... to know exactly what you think of me" he shrugged his shoulders "What'd you expect Stevie?". She sighed "You're never going to trust me are you?" he smiled "Where have you been?" she held the bag of shopping out to him "I went to get some food for tonight... I was going to cook for you and Charlie". He sighed "Im sorry.." she smiled "Dont be" before she walked out into the hall and up the stairs.

He appeared in the bedroom door way about fifteen minutes later and she wiped her eyes as he moved inside and rested down next to her "I didnt mean to slag you off..." she nodded "Yeah you did... corse you did... I bet the second you got back and saw I was gone you were on the phone... to her of all people". He shook his head "I told you there is nothing between me and Nat". Stevie sighed "She is beautiful Smithy" he cut in "Yeah she is.. she's stunning.. and clever and amazing with Charlie" he paused as he stared at the fresh tears running down the blondes face "But she aint you... and I love you". Stevie gulped back her tears "So what now?" she asked and he sighed "You fancy cooking me dinner?" he asked a slight smile on his face. She nodded "Corse.." he smiled "Hang on a second.. dont move" she smiled watching as he disapeared out onto the landing and then down the stairs. He returned a few moments later with Charlie in his arms "I thought maybe you would like to read him this first..." he held a book out to her "Its his favourite.." she nodded as she watched her son bounce on the bed "Are you sure?" Smithy smiled "Corse... I'll be downstairs". She listened to him go down the stairs before she smiled to the little boy "Hey Charlie.. Charlie.." he smiled at her and she couldnt help the fresh tears that ran slowly down her face "You wanna read this book with me?" she grinned as the little boy moved into her lap.

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**Please review thanks xx**


	12. Chapter 12

**Ok, big thanks for reviews. I had nothing written an hour ago but this kinda wrote its self so I hope its ok, its only short but if you enjoy please leave me a review. Thanks again. Jodie xx**

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Chapter Twelve

Stevie had cooked dinner for Smithy and Charlie and after they had eaten she had taken the young boy to bed. She had read him another story and then sat watching him sleep before pushing to her feet and heading downstairs. She could hear Smithy in the kitchen and headed through to him, she smiled watching him washing the dishs. She lent against the door frame staring at him. He had on a pair of light blue jeans and a black vest and his muscles were flexing as he reached into the cupboards. As he spun round and caught sight of her a smile outlined his face "Its rude to stare" he smiled and she laughed slightly "Well you are worth being rude for". He smiled "Is Charlie sleeping?" he asked and she nodded "He went straight off.." she paused as she moved into the room futher and rested down at the kitchen table. "I want to thank you Smithy..." she continued "I know I have been such a crap Mum.. Charlie deserved so much better.. and he is so lucky.." she paused as Smithy dropped the tea towel he had been wiping up with to the kitchen side "I know you didnt have to do what you have done". He smiled "He's my son Stevie... maybe not by blood but I love him". She nodded "I know.. I love him but sometimes.. its just not enough". He smiled "Stevie.. I know you were suffering with post natal depression.. I just.. if you would of let me help you.. things could of been so different... it wasnt that you didnt want and love Charlie... you were frightened". Her eyes dropped to the floor and she wiped her eyes "I still am... Im petrified Smithy.. what if I muck it all up with Charlie again.. and now Im pregnant.. I really want to be a good mum.." he cut in "And you will be.." he moved over and dropped down onto his knees infront of where she sat "Im not going to defend you Stevie... cause you dont deserve it.. but I will sit here and say I am going to do every thing I can to help you make this last year up to Charlie and be a good Mum to him and that little baby of ours". She wiped her eyes once again "I really dont deserve you". He moved up and placed a kiss to her cheek "Well I guess love turns people into fools eh?" she smiled as she stared into his eyes. He was everything she had ever wanted and she wished she could find the words to prove that to him. She moved her arms round his neck and her lips onto his. As she broke away his eyes fell to the floor and she smiled "Im sorry.." he cut in "Dont be.. its not that I dont want us too.." he placed his hand to her face as he forced their eyes to meet "I dont want to be a rebound.. or a back up plan.. because I love you and I cant just be here to make you feel better about yourself". She shook her head and laughed slightly "Its ironic really..." she glanced down "You are all I have ever wanted and yet I still cant help but put you in this position" he shook his head "I dont understand" she smiled "I wish I could make you happy.. you are the man I love but I still hurt you.. and I know you cant be with me.. so I really shouldnt put you in this position". She rose to her feet and headed towards the door "Im sorry.. Im going to go to bed Smithy.." she felt his hand encircle her wrist and she turned back to face him "I love you too.. you know that" she smiled up at him "But you dont trust me... and you cant have love without trust". He nodded "I aggree and no I dont trust you.. but its something you earn.. and if you want to earn it.. this is as good a time as any". She grinned "So you are saying.. we could be together?". He nodded "Yeah.. I am" before leaning into her lips.

When she woke the next morning she pulled the covers tight round her naked body and glanced round the empty bedroom. She stared at the empty bed before grabbing for his shirt and pulling it over her small body and heading out into the hall. She could hear Smithy speaking as she headed out and down the stairs and she sighed as she heard the womans voice, she never failed to annoy her. "... its never that straight forward.." the woman spoke "Its never just sex Smithy.. especially not with the history you have" Stevie paused outside the kitchen door "Im not saying it didnt mean anything.. Im saying we arent back together... she's just staying here" Natalie laughed "A lodger". She gulped back the tears as he laughed before walking into the room. "Morning.." she forced a smile between the two. She smiled at where Smithy sat on the kitchen side with a cup of coffee clamped in his hand "Ok?". He nodded "Yeah.. fine.. I need to go and get ready for work.." he slid off the counter, leaving his half drunk coffee on the side and heading out the door. Stevie sighed before moving over to the kettle and flicking it on. "I know its not my place.." Natalie begun "But he's finding this hard.." Stevie interupted "I dont think you know him nearly as well as I do so dont try and give me advice on him.." Natalie nodded as Stevie turned to face her "I get that you and him go way back.. but when you walked out he fell apart.." Stevie glanced down and Natalie sighed "Im not saying this to hurt you... you are everything he wants and more.. and he will prove that.. just as soon as he trusts you again.." Stevie cut in "But he thought it alright to sleep with me.. even though he has no intentions of us moving forward at the moment". Natalie moved towards the door "He is hurting.. and he wanted comfort.. try and see it from his point of view.. I need to wake Charlie". Stevie watched the woman head through the house and up the stairs and she flumped down at the table, why was this all so difficult.

Hearing him come down the stairs she rose to her feet and moved into the hall and smiled to where he sat on the bottom stair pulling his shoes on "Are you off?" she asked and he nodded "I'll see you tonight Stevie". She sighed as he pulled his second shoe on and rose to his feet "I erm.. I was thinking of coming into the station.." he turned back to her and pushed the front door shut and she smiled "I was going to go and see Jack.. see if he can give me my job back.. Im not expecting anything but I might stand half a chance.." he cut in "D'you think thats a good idea.. you are pregnant?". She nodded "I know but I cant just sit here all day.. Natalie is looking after Charlie.. and I want to pay my way.. Im not expecting you to support me.." she paused as she headed to the stairs "After all Im only a lodger". She walked back up the stairs and headed straight into the bedroom, she rested down onto the bed and wiped at the tears, hearing Natalie move into the hall with Charlie she headed out and smiled to her son "Morning baby" she grinned and Natalie smiled at her "Do you want to give him his breakfast?" she asked as she gestured to the stairs, it was only then that Stevie noticed Smithy. "Can you give us a minute Nat?" he asked and the woman nodded as she held Charlie into her body and headed to the stairs, Stevie noticed Smithy kiss Charlie on the head and cuddle the young boy before she walked into the bedroom and slaming the door closed.

As he opened the door he looked angry and she shook her head cutting him off before he could speak "Who the hell do you think you are?" she shouted "Talking about our sex life to a stranger.. the babysitter.." he cut her off "Natalie is not just Charlies babysitter.. she was there for me.. she helped me when you left and I get on with her.. I can talk to her.." Stevie smiled "Maybe you should be shagging her then.. using her". He shook his head "I didnt use you". She laughed "So last night did mean something then?" she asked and he nodded "Of corse it did.. it was never about getting my leg over..." he moved over towards her "I care about you but I cant just forgive you". She smiled "But its ok to sleep with me?" she asked and he shook his head "No.. it werent.. but I was lonely.. I was hurt and you made me feel better.." she glanced down and he lifted her hand to his lips "I know that isnt what you want to hear Stevie but I cant just forget". She pulled from him "How long are you going to punish me?" she asked. He shook his head "This isnt about punishment Stevie.. I do love you but its not that simple.. if you cant give me the time I need.. we will never be together". She nodded "Ok" and he smiled "Can you give me the time?". She shrugged her shoulders "I dont know.." he nodded "Ok.. I need to go" she watched him head to the door and she felt like her heart had been ripped out, how could he treat her like this?

She had showered and got dressed before she headed down the stairs and into the living room and over to where Charlie sat on the floor, playing with his toys and watching the TV. "Hey gorgeous man.." she smiled to which he beamed up at her "I love you.." she was interupted by Natalie passing the small child a cup of juice "You running?" she asked and Stevie rose to her feet "I dont think thats really any of your business is it?" she asked as she headed out and into the kitchen, Natalie close behind "I will get some time off college.. if Smithy is going to fall apart again.." Stevie turned to face her "Who the hell do you think you are?". Natalie cut in "Im the person who has been supporting your boyfriend and raising your son.. Im the person who read to your son when he couldnt work out where his Mum had gone.. I was the one who looked after Charlie when Smithy couldnt even get out of bed.. and I was the one who backed Smithy everytime he defended you when everyone else was calling you every name under the sun..." she paused and Stevie wanted to shout and scream at her but she had a niggling feeling she was right "Maybe if you put as much effort into getting Smithy back as you do hating me.. you would have what you wanted by now?". Natalie headed out the door calling back to her that she was taking Charlie to the park and Stevie sighed, she wanted to hate Natalie so much but she was right, she had broken his heart, and here she was expecting miricles. She had to talk to Smithy and tell him she would wait for as long as he needed and thats if he still wanted her but all she knew she had to try as hard as she could to get her family back.

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**Im not sure on this so any reviews would be greatly received. Thanks again Jodie xxx**


	13. Chapter 13

**Thanks for the reviews so far. Hope you enjoy this chapter please leave me a review. Thanks xx**

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Chapter Thirteen

Stevie had never been good at expressing her feelings, she had always blurted out what she wanted and then watched her life fall apart around her and things had been no different with Smithy. That day was still clear in her head, they had slept together the night before and after some strong words from Natalie she had made her way to his office to express her feelings, only to have him humiliate her futher, telling her he didnt want her and he didnt know if he ever would. But here she was now five months later. Eight months pregnant with his baby. Living in his house watching him bring up her son with a woman she detested and despite how much he told her there was nothing between him and Natalie, she had doubts, the two spent so much time together. Their friendship reminded her of the one she used to share with Smithy and that was what scared her most of all. She rubed her swollen stomack as her eyes flicked open early on a Friday morning in the summer. She could hear the birds outside the window and her twenty month old son playing downstairs. She pushed to her feet and ran her hand up and down her stomack, she couldnt wait to meet the little baby inside her but she was worried, what if she did it all wrong again. She had finaly started to bond with Charlie, she would hate to muck it up. She jumped as the voice spoke behind her "Stevie.." she turned to face the woman "Im just about to take Charlie to pre-school... did you want to come and see him before we leave?". The small blonde nodded watching the beautiful woman disapear back accross the landing. She pulled on her dressing gown and made her way after the young woman. Once she arrived downstairs she smiled at Smithy as he handed Charlie to her and headed into the kitchen. She sighed, this had become a usual thing, the second she entered a room, he left. She was starting to wonder why she hadnt found a place of her own and as she glanced to her stomack, it struck her just how fightened she was about having the baby. She was booked in two weeks to go and have a c-section and although she knew it would be straight forward like when she had Charlie, it filled her with fear to think of doing it alone. She kissed her son and passed him to Natalie. She watched the woman leave before heading into the kitchen.

"Smithy..." she spoke softly and he pushed off where he sat on the kitchen counter "The kettles just boiled and I have left some bread for you" he smiled as he went to make his way past her "Im going to look for somewhere else to live..." he turned back to her and smiled "You have somewhere to live". She shook her head "I cant live like this anymore Smithy.. and its not fair on Charlie". He sighed "You are having a baby in two weeks Stevie... nows not the time". She smiled "I disagree... now is the perfect time Smithy.. I have my job back and my own money.. I will find a nice little two bed place somewhere.." he cut in "Two bed?" he asked "You are taking the baby". She smiled slightly "I want Charlie as well... we can split the kids between us... work it out best around our shifts". He shook his head "No.. Charlie is setteled". She nodded "I know but he is young he will adjust". He glared at her "You arent taking my son". She sighed "He is my son too Smithy... and I want to spend time with him" he cut in "Well you didnt when you walked out on him did you?" he shouted "Left him with me... with no idea where you were". She smiled slightly "You know how much I regret that... and its because of you I have to go... so you need to deal with it before it happens" he grabbed her wrist "Because of me... what did I do?" he shouted "I let you into my house after everything you did... I gave you numourus chances.. I loved you". She shook her head "No.. you didnt.. not after I came back.. you set out to humiliate me.. at everychance... to make sure everyone knew I wasnt good enough.. that I am a crap mum a waste of space". He shook his head "No.. I loved you.. I still love you". She laughed "No you dont... you used me.. and I know Im far from innocent in all of this but..." she paused trying to recall a memory from a few months ago "You took me to the pub.. do you remember..." he glanced down and she could see in his eyes that he knew what she was about to say "You came home from work.. and you said theres a group of us going to the pub.. I was so happy.. I thought finally you had forgiven me that I had a chance to show you I was still the same person you fell in love with... you ignored me the whole evening.. spent it with another woman... I had to listen to Callum and Nate talk about the things you had been saying about me.. telling me all about the conversations you had about our sex life.. how I was hardly something to write home about..". she smiled a fake smile up at him "How.. you would never go back with me.. cause you werent that desperate" she wiped her eyes and forced a smile to her face once again "Thats not love Smithy... thats hate.. you hate me.. and I dont blame you for that.. but I cant live with you walking out of a room the second I walk into it.. with you treating me like something you have trodden in... Im worth more than that" she walked off and he sighed as she headed up the stairs. He wiped his eys, he had never thought of her in that way, he had always loved her but he wanted to hurt her.

Twenty minutes had passed before he worked up the courage to knock on her bedroom door. She pulled it open and he sighed, her eyes were blood shot and her cheeks blootchy "Stevie" he smiled as he placed his hand gently to her face, the first contact she had with him since their night together five months ago. "I cant do this anymore Smithy... I cant". He sighed "I really had no idea you thought I hated you Stevie.. I know I have been horrible to you but.." he glanced down "I pushed you away for a reason". She shook her head "No.. the only reason you have kept me this close is because you knocked me up...". He shook his head "Thats not true... I humilated you just so you knew... everytime you did it to me.. I forgave you and I knew what everyone was saying.. Im an idiot.. a fool and I wanted to prove I wasnt a push over". She shrugged her shoulders "Well you did.. but its not just about that night Smithy... I dont want to just be here cause Im the mother of your kids..." he shook his head "Thats not why you are here..." she cut in "You dont want me around". He nodded "I do.. I do Stevie.." it was only as the tears escaped his eyes she realised he was hurting too "I have put so much distance between us because I love you" he sighed "Its not something I can just erase". She sighed "Smithy" and he cut in "Dont walk out on me.." she smiled "Im not taking Charlie and the baby away.. you will always be Charlies sole career...I just want access.. a couple of nights a week" he shook his head "Its not about Charlie". She nodded "Yeah it is Smithy... its always been about him.. its always been him you wanted.." she gulped as the tears ran freely from her eyes "I have seen the way you are with Nat... the way you look at her Smithy.. and I want you to be happy.." he shook his head once again "Its not like that.. d'you want me to fire her.. is that what you want.. me not to see her?" she laughed and he looked at her confused as she took his hand "No.. I want you to be honest with yourself.. Im not what you want anymore... and despite how much you deny it I know.. I give up Smithy... I told you I would wait for you but I cant wait for something that will never happen... Im sorry.." she moved over to the bed and grabbed her bags "Im going... today.. I will stay with a friend until I can find a place of my own". He shook his head "Please Stevie.. I have to go to work.. at least stay until tomorrow.. so we can talk tonight". She sighed slightly "Ok.. one night Smithy... but you wont change my mind".

She smiled as the front door and banged shut once again "That was a quick shift" she called from the sofa, trying to keep things as casual as possible. She sighed as the woman appeared in the door way "What the hell is your problem?" she stressed and Stevie smiled "I thought you were Smithy". Natalie laughed "I thought he was what you wanted.. you have spent the last god knows how long trying to win him back.." Stevie rose to her feet "This is nothing to do with you" she moved past her and headed into the kitchen "He is in pieces.. he rang me up begging me to help him try to think how he can make you stay" Stevie turned back to her "No.. its not me he wants.. its Charlie and the baby" Natalie laughed "You're even more deluded than I thought... here was me thinking you loved him". Stevie grabbed her arm and shouted "If you are that desperate for him to be happy.. you make him happy". Natalie shook her head "What is your problem.. I thought you wanted to be happy?". Stevie glared at her "You have no right shouting the odds at me... I do love Smithy.. with all my heart.. but I have no strength left.. Im broken". Natalie shook her head "You are a joke" they both jumped at the voice in the door way "Have you two finished..." he stressed, he laughed slightly "You two couldnt be more alike..." he glanced down "I give up.. I have never had anything in my life.. so why should it all change now.. Natalie.. between me and Stevie I think we have the kids covered..." the dark haired woman smiled "Smithy... Im not just a babysitter.. I thought we were friends". He nodded "We were but I have to do whats right for my family... and I dont think its you anymore". He sighed as the young woman shoved past him, forcing her keys into his hand as she went "I had so much respect for you.. you deserve each other" she shouted. He turned back to face Stevie "Im sorry Im not the man you want anymore... I want you to stay here... I will find a little place for me... and I will be the part time parent Stevie... lets be honest... Charlie aint even mine... and I dont think you ever truely were either.. I never thought I would give up this easily.. but I cant fight you any more... I will be at the end of a phone when you need me.. but Im going to pack today and go". She gulped, although she loved Smithy maybe this was for the best they had always been explosive and she wondered if they could ever really make each other happy, even with the amount of love between them.

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**Please review. I have only got a couple more chapters planned for this story, so what do people think, Im torn between letting Smithy and Stevie have a happy ending? or maybe Smithy and Natalie? or him alone?xx**


	14. Chapter 14

**Thanks for all the reviews so far. I hope you like this chapter and please review. Thanks xx**

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Chapter Fourteen

Smithy had been staying with his mum for a little over a week, going to visit Charlie every day after work for an hour but he missed him, he couldnt get used to not seeing him all evening, bathing him and putting him to bed and being there when he woke the next morning but more than that he was missing Stevie, although they had been split up a long time he missed her with every breath he took. She was due to have the baby in two days and he was excited to be meeting his child but he wished things were different between them but right now all he really wanted was to try and concentrate on his children. "Dale.. is that you?" his mum called as he headed to the kitchen "Yeah Mum..." he walked in and he smiled as she took his dinner from the oven "How was Charlie?". He nodded slightly "Fine". Pauline smiled "And Stevie?". He sighed "She is doing really well... she has gained loads of weight.. and she's waddiling" a smile traced his lips "She looks great". Pauline sighed "I bet she is excited about the baby now?". He smiled "Yeah.." she cut him off "You still havent spoke to her have you?" she asked and he shook his head "Its not that simple Mum... she is about to drop... and when I go to see Charlie.. she is cooking or.. having a bath... she avoids me". Pauline sighed "Dale... you know how I feel about Stevie... but I do believe she makes you happy" he nodded slightly "She makes me happy Mum... but its so difficult". She nodded "And when was love ever easy?" she smiled "I know it hurts at times Dale but..." she smiled "If you and Stevie can be a happy family sweetie... you owe it to Charlie and that little baby of yours to try". He nodded "You know what.. you are right Mum.. can you stick this back in the oven". He rose to his feet and made his way from the kitchen and smiled to himself, she was the love of his life and he couldnt give her up with out at least trying.

He rang the door bell and sighed to himself, what was he doing? giving her the opertunity to make a complete fool of him. He gulped as she pulled the front door open "Hi.. Smithy.. what are you doing here?" she asked and he gestured inside "I thought Charlie would be sleeping... I was.. hoping to talk". She smiled "Of corse... come in" she moved aside, pulling her purple dressing gown round her huge bump once agaiin. He moved into the living room and she smiled "D'you want a coffee?" she asked and he shook his head "I need to do this now... I need you to know the truth... I have spent months running away... I want to make it all right now". She nodded slightly "Charlie has to come first Smithy... and the baby.. I understand that and we can make this arrangement work". He smiled "Arrangement?" he asked softly "You are happy with the way things are?" he asked and she sighed "What do you want to happen?" she asked "I know its difficult.." she continued "But we have to do whats best for the kids... I know its hard seeing each other every day but I dont want you to not be part of Charlies life... seeing him everyday". He shook his head "You dont understand Stevie... this isnt about Charlie and the baby... this is about me being one hundred percent, absoultly crazily in love with you". She gulped a few times, and he could see she was trying to process the information "I cant do this... not now.. Im having a baby in two days". He nodded "I know.. I know this isnt the perfect time but I love you". She shook her head "I cant cope with this right now Smithy... I think you should go.." she walked from the room and headed up the stairs.

He knocked lightly on the bedroom door and smiled as she turned to face him, her eyes were bloodshot and she wiped the fresh tears from her cheeks. "Im sorry..." he sighed as he headed to her "I didnt mean to upset you.. I just.. I wanted you too.." he sighed as he sunk to the bed and buried his head in his hands "I wanted you to understand that I do love you.. that I have always been in love with you". He gulped as he rose to his feet once again "I'll go... I will er.. erm.. I'll see you" he headed to the door and her words dragged him back. "Why'd you do it then?" she asked and he turned back to her "Why did you reject me?" she asked and he stood staring at her, his mouth open slightly. She continued "I would do anything for you.. I have come back here and faced all my demons... listened to the way people spoke about me.. because I wanted you to love me.. but you have treated me like dirt". He sighed "Im sorry". She shook her head "Sorry.. you're sorry?" she shouted "You spent weeks... months... letting me believe you hated me... that I wasnt good enough for you.. and that I was a completly rubbish mother... and I know I did wrong.. but I didnt deserve the way you have treated me". He nodded slightly "I know... I really wish I could turn back time Stevie... I really do but.." he shrugged his shoulders "Whats the point... I've blown it" he made his way back towards the door. "What did you think would happen Smithy?" she stressed "I would fall at your feet and tell you I loved you and we were going to live happily ever after". He shook his head "No.. I wasnt expecting a mircle.. or even for you to forgive me right away but I.. I wanted us to at least try to put things behind us and move forward.. for Charlies sake and our baby". She nodded "Charlie and the baby.. I should of known you had a reason" he shook his head "Its nothing to do with them..". Stevie sighed "You always want something Smithy... and its obviously not sex" she gestured to her stomack and sighed "I dont want it to be about the baby". He smiled "I love you... I dont know any other way I can show you... Im going to go Stevie". She smiled "Stay". He turned back to her once again and smiled slightly "Im sorry?". She nodded "Stay tonight" she rested onto the bed and sighed "On the sofa.. or in with Charlie.. I just.. I think you should stay tonight".

She moved towards the sofa and rested down next to him as he fiddled with the duvet cover. "Maybe one day.." she began and he cut in "You dont have to say it". She sighed "Your parents... they werent happy were they?". He shook his head "My Dad... he was an alcoholic.. he was horrible to my mum.. me and my brother". She smiled "My parents were never really happy". He smiled accross at her "They seem so?". She nodded "The perfect couple eh?" she grinned "Thats what they would have people believe.. but behind closed doors.. it was a completly different story". He sighed "Im sorry" she shrugged her shoulders "Dont be... I dont believe in happy ever after..." she noticed his face fall to the floor and she continued "Thats why I have always wanted to be with you... there is something really special about dating your best friend eh?". He smiled slightly "One true love" he took her hand and kissed it gently "I would do everything I can Stevie... to make you happy". She sighed pulling her hand out of his grip "I have to do whats right for the baby and Charlie". He nodded "I know.. I understand Stevie... and I dont want to make any of you unhappy.." he placed his hand to her swollen stomack and smiled "About the one good thing we did manage to do together..." she nodded "I do love you". He nodded "I know Stevie". She lent up and placed a gentle kiss to his cheek and as she pulled back he gripped her face "Please..." he smiled slightly before leaning and brushing her lips with his.

He had been laying next to the blonde DS in bed for the last three hours, they had kissed for a while before she had led him to the bedroom and cuddled into his body. He was happy to just be close to her once again. He loved her and Charlie and he knew the second she had his baby nothing in the world could make things more perfect. He watched her stomack rise and fall a few times and he placed his hand to it, he couldnt wait to meet his baby. She moaned out and he placed a gentle kiss to her cheek "Its ok baby" he soothed and her eyes flicked open slightly "Sorry... did I wake you?" she asked and he shook his head "Na.. Im having trouble sleeping" he smiled. She ran her hand over her swollen belly and sighed "I have this awful cramping Smithy... it really hurts.." he interupted "Are you in labour?" he asked. "No... Im not due yet and Im having a c-section". He smiled "And you do know just because we know that and the doctors know that... that little baby might not?" she smiled as he lent into her lips "Whats the pain like... do I need to take you to the hospital?" he asked and she shook her head "No.. I am ok... can you get me a hot water bottle?" he nodded "Corse Moss... I will be back in a minute" she watched him cross the bedroom before she pushed to her feet and headed accross the room. She made her way into the en-suite bathroom and pushed the door closed behind herself.

She lent against the sink and splashed some cold water to her face before forcing her eyes to meet in the mirror. It hurt, a lot, she had never experienced pain like it and all she wanted was to curl up in Smithys arms and cry, she heard him making his way back up the stairs and sighed as the bathroom door opened slightly "You ok Moss?" he asked peering rund the edge of the door "Yeah... I might have a bath... my belly is doing summersaults..." he cut in "I really think we should go down the hospital and get you checked out.." she shook her head "No.. not yet" she smiled "Can you check on Charlie and then you might as well go back to bed... I will shout if I need you". He smiled "Promise?". She smiled "I promise Smithy... go on". He made his way back out of the bathroom and she moved over to the bath and turned the taps on. She rested onto the bath and groaned as another pain shot through her body, she wasnt in labour. She couldnt be, she wasnt ready to be a Mum again yet and she had to have a c-section. She ran her hands through the bubbles in the bath and smiled, at least she had Smithy back where he was ment to be, with her. Maybe things were starting to look up. She moaned as the pain crept through her body once again, maybe not she thought before stripping her clothes off and sinking into the bath.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey, sorry for the wait but here it is, If you enjoy please review thanks Jodie xx**

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Chapter Fithteen

"Smi... Smithy..." she called as she climbed from the bath. She clung onto her stomack as he appeared in the door way. "You ok Stevie?" he asked as he grabbed her towel from the rack and wrapped it round her body. "It hurts... it hurts a lot Smithy" he nodded slightly "Ok... its ok babe.." he led her through and helped her to rest down onto the bed "I will ring my mum and get her to come and sit with Charlie and then I will get you down the hospital". Stevie had spent the last forty five minutes in the bath and feeling no better she knew it was time to do something. She watched him as he grabbed some clothes from her cupboard and placed them on the bed next to her "Wheres your hospital bag?". She shook her head, panting through the pain "I havent... I've not done it yet". He sighed "Stevie..." she cut in "Dont lecture me... I have had a lot going on". He nodded before placing a kiss to her forhead "Its fine babe... I'll do it... what do you need?". She shook her head "I dont know.. I cant think Smithy... it hurts". He nodded "I know... but whoever said having a baby was easy". She sighed "I have never regretted that day in Brighton... when we... but Im starting to have serious doubts about ever going near you again". He laughed and she glared at him "What?". He shook his head "I will ring my mum now" she watched him disapear and she began to pull her clothes on. She panted a few times but feeling his hands on her hips she turned back to him "Whatever happens Moss I will always love you". She watched him disapear once again and sighed, they could have the perfect life if they could just figure out how to put the pieces together in the right way.

He opened the passeger door and helped her from the car, she flinched in pain "Im never ever... having sex again". Smithy laughed and she glared at him "Do you want to live to meet your baby Smithy". He grinned as he placed his hand gently to her face "You know how much I love you dont you?". She gulped as he lent in and placed a slight kiss to her lips "Please dont... not now Smithy". He nodded slightly "Im sorry..." he swung her bag over his shoulder and pushed the car door closed and locked the door before helping her towards the hospital "But Im not giving up..." she glared at him "Its not the time" he nodded "I know... but you need to know... we aint finished... we aint even close..". Arriving in the maternity ward she eased down into a seat and he smiled before heading over to the desk "My girlfriend... Stevie Moss I think she is in labour". The young woman nodded "Ok... when is she due?". Smithy smiled "She is booked for a c-section in two days". The midwife nodded "Take a seat... someone will be with you shortly". He rested down next to her "Hey.. everything is going to be ok" he smiled and she took his hand "Im really frightened Smithy". He nodded "So am I... but you know what... you are Stevie Moss... and you can get through anything.. you have nothing to be frightened about". She wiped the tears from her eyes "So why are you frightened?". He laughed "You wanna know the real reason..." she nodded and he lent forward to her "Cause one day Stevie you will realise just how special you are and when you do... Im gunna be history for good... and I dont want to ever lose you, Charlie and our baby...". She gripped his hand "Smithy... we..." she was interupted by the older lady stood infront of them "Would you like to come through Miss Moss".

She smiled as the lady ran the small machine over her stomack "The hearbeat is healthy... I'll examine you and see whats happening and then.. we will see where we go next". Stevie nodded and glanced at Smithy "Can you... wait outside". He smiled "You do remember how that baby got in there..." the midwife glanced at him "Its best if your partner doesnt get to stressed". Smithy nodded but Stevie interupted "We arent together" she glanced accross at him and she could see the obvious hurt in his eyes and being shot down in such an degrading way. He smiled "I'll go and get a coffee... do you want anything?". She shook her head "No... thanks". Stevie slipped her trousers off and layed back onto the bed, the midwife glanced over her notes and smiled "Second baby... you are going to have your hands full" Stevie nodded slightly "My son... he is a little monster.. but my ex... he is brilliant". The midwife nodded "A good man is hard to find". Stevie nodded "And Smithy is definatly that". The woman smiled "Ok... you are definatly in labour... so we need to get you to theatre". Stevie smiled "Is the baby going to be ok?". She smiled "Your baby will be fine... put a gown on and I will be back in a moment" she smiled "I will get your partner for you". Stevie pulled the hospital gown on and rested onto the bed. Smithy was a good man and she loved him with all her heart but it had never been easy.

He sat glancing through the photos on his phone, he was on the verge of losing everything and he wasnt sure he could hang round to meet his baby when he had no idea who would end up bringing it up. He was starting to realise how Leon must have felt when he found out about Charlie, he took another sip of his coffee and sighed, this was hardest thing he would ever have to do and he wasnt sure if he could do it. He sighed as he's phone beeped and glanced at the text on the screen 'Smithy Im going into theatre in a minute. Please come back I need you there when our baby is born' he sighed, not so long ago she had left him a message asking him to come back and see Charlie born and he had and it had got him no where, but he knew if he hadnt been there he'd of regretted it for the rest of his life. Arriving back outside her room he knocked lightly on the door and moved inside "Hey... I thought you had gone" Stevie smiled. He sighed "I probably shouldnt be here... but its the birth of my first child... I want to be there... if it wont stress you". She smiled "I really want you here Smithy... I cant do this on my own". He moved over to her and placed both his hands to the side of her face "You mean the world to me Stevie... and if the only way I can be close to you is to be your friend..." she cut in "You will never be my friend Smithy". He moved back from her and she grabbed his wrists "Im sorry" he spoke softly and she shook her head "That came out wrong... I wanted you... you need to know.. I love you too" the woman appeared in the door way "We are ready to take you through to theatre now Miss Moss". Smithy smiled "We can talk later.. lets go and meet our baby".

Half an hour had passed and Stevie clung tightly onto his hand. He glanced over the screen before back to her "Not long now babe". She smiled "You got ideas?". He looked at her slightly confused and she smiled "A name... for the baby?" she continued He smiled "I dunno... I didnt think I'd get a say in it". She nodded "I want the baby to be a Smith... like Charlie". He lent gently down and pecked her lips "I love you Stevie Moss". She smiled "I love you too Dale Smith". He lent down and placed a slight kiss to her lips once again. She pulled back and moaned slightly as the tugging spread through her body once again before an ear piercing scream shot through the room. Smithys face lit up instantly as the small baby came into sight. "Stevie... the baby its beautiful.." she smiled at him as he kissed her lips once again before heading over towards the midwife who was cleaning the baby up. "What is it Smithy?" she asked and she glanced over at where the midwife had placed the baby into his arms, as he turned back to her she noticed the tears running down his face and she grinned up at him as he moved over to her "Its a boy Stevie... we have another little boy". She watched him sink down in the chair next to her and she stared at her newborn baby, he looked just like his father and she couldnt be more pleased, Smithy sat staring down at the little boy and she moved her hand down to stroke the babys face "We need a name that will go well with Charlie". Smithy just nodded slightly "Look at him Stevie... the one good thing we managed to create..." he glanced back up at her "We have to at least give it our best shot now... for our children Stevie".

An hour passed before Stevie and Smithy had been moved into their room and he sat staring at the small blonde as she held the small baby "You know something..." she grinned up at him "I finally believe in love at first sight". He placed his hand to her face "I have for a long time". She moved her hand to his and smiled "Is this it... me and you we gunna make a go of it". He lent into her lips and kissed her gently "Yeah.. we are the real deal". She smiled slightly as she glanced down at the sleeping baby "Can you get over me and Leon?" she asked and he sighed "Stevie... he may be Charlies Dad and he might of been with you first but Im with you now and we have the baby... and I will make sure you never need to look at another bloke" he laughed "How did this all go so wrong and end up so right?" he asked "Look at him... he is perfect...". She nodded "He is a gorgeous little boy.. him and Charlie will break some hearts". Smithy lent into her lips again "We will have to bring the little man to meet his brother". She watched Smithy, he was staring at their son and she could see the pure love in his eyes "I was thinking Frankie" she smiled at him "Frankie?" he nodded "Yeah... Charlie and Frankie Smith... it sounds cute.." she cut in "It sounds like a handfull". He lent into her lips once again "You know how much I love you dont you... I mean really love you... this last year or so.. its all been a mistake.. all I want is you and our boys". She smiled as he lifted her free hand to his lips "We will have to have another one" she stared at him "Another one?" she asked. He nodded "I want a little girl". She sighed "Smithy.. I need a bit of time to think through what happens now... we need to take things slow". He nodded and the hurt in his eyes was unmistakeable but she had to think things through before she aggreed to anything.

Two days later Stevie returned home with her newborn baby. She layed in the bed staring at the small baby in the cot next to her. She smiled at Smithy as he appeared in the door way "Is Charlie asleep?" she asked. Smithy nodded as he headed over and glanced in at his baby before moving over and sinking down on the bed next to her. "So.." he smiled and she pushed up and into his cuddle "So.." she smiled up at him and he laughed "We need to make a descision Stevie... right here.. right now.. we either make a go of us and make it work... or I will walk away and just see the kids at aggreed times". She smiled "What do you want?" she asked and he sighed "You.. I have always wanted you.. so now the balls in your court Stevie... do you still want me?" he asked.


End file.
